MAN, I MISS WEARING TIES

To church that is. But this morning I'll be headed to Scottsdale Baptist Church wearing an open collared shirt. No socks, of course. Well, who said I was a clothes horse?
I used to wear ties every Sunday. I even bought one of those little neck extenders to make it more comfortable breathing when the numbers on my age and necksize both increased. But a former Youth Minister that I played golf with told me that his friends wouldn't even come to our church if they saw a bunch of (old)--he spared me--guys wearing ties. I haven't worn one since.
I used to wear ties when I taught school. Often in my early years when I was five years older than some of my students. But even in my later years. Once I decided to wear a tie everyday for the month of February. Why? Why not? It was cold; I was waiting for Spring. Some of them would be like Speed Racer's. I know I wore a Tazmanian Devil one once.

I never could tie a great tie. Some guys could do that double Winsor knot. But knot me. I loved the big old fat ones that anyone could tie. I could never get the length just right either. Six inches above my waist or ten inches below would be how it came out. Or my favorite ties were the ones that hit you just perfectly. Until about an hour later and they shrunk up. Or the ones you tied so tight around your neck that you could barely swallow, and an hour later it looked as if you'd loosened it for a tax audit. Or the ones you thought were clean until someone pointed out a tomato stain on them.
Hey what was I thinking. I hated ties. I'm so glad I don't wear them to church anymore. Now if I could only wear shorts...