MAD AS A BIRD

What kind of simile is that? But I don't know as though I've seen an angrier looking bird than the one pictured. I made a bird very angry at the St. Lou Zoo once, but that's another story.

So what angers On The QT today? People who talk with food in their mouths. It's getting worse.

When I was surfing channels last week, I stopped when I saw Tyra (like Oprah, she only uses one name now) eating with chopsticks. I spent two weeks in the Orient (do they still call it that?) and never really got the hang, so when someone is using them, I try to observe how to handle the dang things. I also wonder why, when forks can load up the food much easier. Well, at one time the chopsticks, at least the pewter kind, could indicate if the food was unspoiled, but like the Zoo, that's another story.

Pardon the long digression. So Tyra's eating the Chinese or Thai food and talking to Ryan Seacrest. She shovels it in, at least how much one can shovel from chopsticks, and starts talking. The viewers can see the morsels as she talks. So Seacrest takes a bite. Same thing. I see food all in his mouth as he talks to her. Disgusting.

I was very small when I was told not to talk with food in my mouth. I guess they weren't. But I seem to be seeing it more all the time. So please take advice from this little bird: don't do it. And avoid chopsticks. If you're in that big a hurry to talk, then eat with a fork--it'll go a lot faster and then you don't have to gross us out.