SO CHASTITY IS A MAN NOW

In a Design class I had in college, this is the chastity outfit I came up with. It was to be worn at Proms or any dances that lasted past midnight.

I especially liked the wings on each side, where the guy could rest his head slow dancing. You know how guys are when the song plays a little too long. Something to do with holding the girl closely and gently swaying and all.

I fooled around with a drool cup attachment, but thought it might be a little overkill. I especially liked the throat guard that I actually invented before it was used to save catchers in baseball the pain from a foul ball to the Adam's apple. A close examination will reveal some insect strips to keep away two kinds of bugs. Those from the genus lepidroptra and those from hominus.

The mask speaks for itself. One can still see through it, but there is no encouragement for any other kind of physical contact outside of a little peck. The bars were closer together around the mouth, a little wider at the forehead and upper cheek.

The aptly named chest protector, an idea from my Little League days, provided padding on the front side only with clasps on the back that were soldered together upon putting on the garment.

I hate to use a misnomer and call it a dress, and the picture does no justice to the waist and lower half wrapped in burlap but lined with silk. Wrapped is the operative word. After a study of Egyptian mummification, I was able to adapt the quadruple wrap without making the young woman look appreciably heavy, though it is healthier to have a pear shape.

Ankle socks or ankle hosiery could be used to cover the exposed 0ne and a quarter inch of leg. Shoes and purse matching the burlap wouldn't accessorize effectively, so I selected pumps with a velcro strap covering any hint of toes inside.

Now, if I could design all that, you would think I could figure out how they made Chastity Bono into a man named Chaz. But you got me.