SHRUNKEN HEADS I'VE KNOWN

Actually, I never understood shrunken heads. Who and/or why? Some people used to buy the little fake ones and hang them on their car rearview mirrors. Also, why were there never any white shrunken heads?

I remember reading an article about the size of the head and intelligence. The larger noggins had the larger brains. That makes sense to me to an extent. And two people I know that had very large heads were very smart. So in my limited experience and for the purpose of this blog, I'll accept the theory.

Purpose of this blog? It has a purpose? Well, for today anyhow. There's a lot of crazy stuff going on that makes me want to award a Shrunken Head, you know, like an Oscar or an Emmy to, as they say, various and sundry people.

I'll start with our baseball commissioner, Bud Selig. He's already screwed up the All-Star Game by trying to make it an important contest even going so far as awarding the winner home field advantage in the World Series. Of course, after he declared the 2002 game a tie, I guess he thought (with shrunken head) that he had to do something. Now, he is proposing a penalty of some sort to a team that uses an All-Star selected pitcher on Sunday before the Tuesday game. Unbelievable.

The second Shrunken Head goes to the Senate committee investigating Barry Bonds, Balco, Anderson, ad infinitum. Get over it or Git Her Dun. If you have proof, nail him. If not, let it go. I'm tired of it. He said/he looks/he must have. Ok, then put an end to it.

The third Shrunken Head goes to rappers who wear grillz. What are you thinking putting bling mold on your teeth? Do you really think that looks better than pearly whites? Nelly's white band-aid or bandage was dumb enough (man, am I hip?), but lose the grillz.

And that's all. Yeah, I know. Not the substance of real serious stuff and awards that should go to a number of world events, including a head butt to the gut, but some things are simply beyond Shrunken Heads. Like drivers who never use turn signals. Don't get me started.