1. 
   GAME TWO

Into the night the line drive buried itself over the left field wall and on top of a tent. And quicker than a New York minute, the hopes of a Met NLCS sweep was over. Two more runs were tacked on by Pujols, Spezio, Encarnacion, and Molina. But the damage was done by an Oriental named So.

Mr. Taguchi now has hit two home runs in the playoffs. In two at bats. It was only fitting, you know. In Game One the biggest play was made by a cat named Endy. He entered the game only because of an injury to one of the Mets players. He had two first names. Cliff Floyd or Floyd Cliff. I'm not sure. But I think he's one that stands for the National Anthem. But that's the way with this Mets' team. They're all so indeciferable.

In the past, Mookie was Mookie, Dykstra was Nails, Gooden was Doc. They had their share of undesirable characters led by nasty Wally Backman, D-a-r-r-e-l=l, and Hernandez, but at least you knew who was who.

When this year's lineup appears, I have trouble figuring out which Carlos is up, who's older--their second baseman or Franco, and who makes up that great bullpen I keep hearing about?

I don't know what Shawn Green and David Wright are doing with this bunch of interchangeables. And LoDuca or is it LowDookey?

I quit. The Pond Scummers of 1986 become The Unknowners of 2006. Maybe they're better than I think. I hope not. I hope that shot into the night in Game Two turns the tide. To Cardinal Red.