THE OILERS RULED
At least in the uniform department.

"Feet. Shoulder length apart."
"Elbows on knees."
"Cup hands"
"Look 'em in the eyeball."

At least that's the way I taught taking a three-point stance to 4th through 6th graders in YMCA flag football. Then I'd have them repeat it, chant-like, so they'd know how to get in that stance.

I wasn't a great coach by any means. In fact three games had passed when one of the parents told me his big son lineman didn't know what to do once he'd gotten past his man. I'd assumed he knew to go after the ball carrier, but he didn't. His father told him, I saw the light go off in his fourth grade face, and I felt bad.

Maybe that's why we didn't win a lot of games. I'd guess we finished 2-4, though it could have been 4-6, I don't remember how many games we played. The Y didn't like football of any kind and they didn't promote it. "Too many kids get hurt," I was told by the director, whom I never saw at any of the games.

"I've had more kids hurt coaching soccer," I replied. I mean a couple of sharp kicks to the shin, in the same game, does hurt. But to no avail. Soccer was to take over the Y program in Mt. Vernon and most of the rest of the country. And if I didn't know much about football, I sure didn't know much about soccer.

So all the Oilers were known for was their unis. Sponsored by my wife's boss' Oil Co. (thus the name) we had jerseys with Oilers spelled out on the front with their last names and numbers on back. We looked good even if we weren't. While other teams were envious, you know they enjoyed whipping us. Oh, once in awhile it's fun to be the bad guys.