DID YOU EVER GET A PUPPY FOR CHRISTMAS?



If not, then you have been abused. I know a couple of attorneys pretty well that might like to represent you in your lawsuit against your parents and/or spouse. Please contact me and I will provide that information.

But it's an obligation. At least once. These two chocolate labs pictured couldn't be broken up either. So if you find two like these, then you have double the fun this Christmas.

What I miss most about not having a dog is our conversations. Mostly, well, almost always just one-sided, I would tell my pooch all kinds of things. Sometimes they were so stupid, but he never cared. In fact, he seemed to enjoy my discourse.

Secondly, a good dog is never in a bad mood. Now some dogs are always in a bad mood. They're just looking for someone, preferably another dog to at least bark at. But what they prefer is the taste of dog blood. I'm dismissing those guys. But a good dog understands. Even when he's getting scolded. And he's there for you when you need to vent.

Thirdly, I miss our walks. Although I never mastered teaching a dog much of anything, I always wanted to walk one without a leash. If I had a pup like that, well I'd still be in the dog business. The closest I had was a poodle, gray and not too big or too little, that I would let out of the house when we lived on South 24th St. in MTV. He'd run around the neighborhood, sometimes even venturing onto 23rd St. before returning while I stayed in the house and yelled for him to come back. He always did, though sometimes I had to yell pretty loudly for him to be within earshot.

I would let him know about it when he returned, but he knew it was worth all the adventures he'd had, all the other sensory explosions he'd witnessed, all the territory he'd marked.

But now I'm only a dog acquaintance to Max, Monty, and the other neighborhood dogs I encounter daily. Only one walks with his owners sans leash. They offered to give him to me. I refused, but it was hard. He's not a pup anymore, but it is very near to Christmas. I just might not say no a second time.