A BETTER SWIMMER

I wish I were smarter, taller, more musical, more athletic, more of service, and more to keep things to myself. And I would like to be a better swimmer. Is there anything more stress-relieving than a good swim?

I definitely need to be a better diver. I'm really way down on that scale. I've pulled out more needles from my chest for lousy dives than I can count. I think a good old belly flop is less painful than the ones I've had at about an 80% level. Somehow our youngest grandson is able to pull those off without pain. But not me.

My next flaw is endurance. Lap pools? What a waste for me. I could only do two laps before fatigue would set in or lungs would burn. Now what kind of strong swimmer is that?

Life saving techniques? I suppose I should have placed that numero uno. Fortunately I've never had to save anyone from drowning. When they'd resist my help or struggle mightily, I don't know if I could bring them in or not. I'm certain I couldn't handle someone my size who was panicky. I'm just not that adept.

Since I haven't had swim lessons, golf lessons, music lessons, any kind of Summer camp, I guess you could say I have more wishes than just swimming. Deprivation leads to inadequacy. I'm living proof.