SO WHAT WOULD YOU ADVERTISE IF YOU HAD TO

Let's say they make a new law. Who's they? Legislators, of course, civic students. Recently I heard of another goofy California law going into effect soon. One cannot click on the gas handle while pumping to indicate one wants a fill-up. No, no, no as our youngest granddaughter says. It must be hand held until the hose overflows a bit to illustrate full. What a waste!

So what if the law were to require one to advertise a product on the side of their house that faces the street? You know, like "See Ruby Falls" or Burma Shave of days gone by. The guy in the picture of course hocked Coke.

Potato chips came to mind for me, along with Italian food. Maybe an heirloom tomato. Or a brat. Some re-fried beans--they'd have to be the real deal, lumpy and all. A big chef salad. Gelato. In a waffle cone.

Maybe some Oscar-Meyer already fried bacon just warm it up in the microwave. Maybe Arizona suntan lotion. How about a Lexus? A bookstore?

Well, this list could go on all day. But I'll end the suspense right now. I'd advertise an 8-iron. A Callaway. I've had two holes-in-one and both have been with my trusty 8-iron. One from 132 yards and one from 160 yards. That'd be my big picture on the side of our house.

Plus, it would give my wife plenty of room to advertise her fave. A travel brochure, Paradise ice tea, a good steak, peanut butter cookies, chocolate, naturally. Special K. Michael Kors. And some awesome shoes that fit like a glove. Five Finger something. She wiggles her toes which are separated like a glove and voila her toes fit into the shoes with a sole that she can jog in or walk in or wear to the beach, or to church. Ok, not the last one. Se what merchandise does to me?