AT THE HILLS

Indian Hills wasn't the best golf course in MTV, but it's where I cut my golf teeth. Also, it was a place where I had some of the most fun playing golf anywhere.

One particular day, a friend of mine showed up with the top of the line golf equipment and duds. I knew he was a pretty good athlete. So I just figured he was a pretty good golfer.

He wasn't quite as decked out as the picture of the guys sporting a product called Loud Mouth apparel. But he was pretty close. The one item I focused on was his red and white golf shoes. Bright red and brand new.

As he stood on the tee box of number 1, a short dog leg Par 4, there was enough of a gallery of old timers who had noticed Barry and had taken their brews of choice out to observe his tee shot.

It wasn't pretty. It wasn't a whiff, but it dribbled off the tee. A Breakfast Ball or mulligan was called for. With a swing as close to Charles Barkley's as I've ever seen (who, by the way authors the worse swing I've ever seen) Barry's second drive sliced over the parallel Number 3 fairway and was headed last seen to the Number 4 rough.

He carried his brand new bag over his shoulder and went to play it. Smart money would have selected the dribbled drive which was closer to the Number 1 green. He looked great as he headed for his ball. But the gallery had seen enough and they headed back to the bar.

The moral is a simple one. If you're going to dress like that, you had better be able to play.

Barry couldn't, and I never recall seeing him at Indian Hills again. He may have learned his lesson. Or started taking them. At another course. Without a gallery. And hopefully without the flare of wild golf clothes.