TAKE THE RED OUT

I should be catching another ray or two right about now. You see it's too hot even for me to play golf. Oh, it's probably not. When I think of the elements and weather I withstood in the Midwest to play a round. But I'm spoiled now. And I've also found out that it doesn't seem to affect my score that much whether I play once or five times a week.

I'm pretty consistent. Usually the driver and three wood behave. Sometimes short irons, sometimes the chip shot, but that's rarer these days. My nemisis. The putter.

So what does this have to do with the red eye? Well, you see, I should be working on my short game, but since I'm not, I was pooling it today. Until my wife maliciously and repeatedly splashed me. Why? I can't recall. It must have been something I said. Oh yeah, it was.
I remember now. To prove that she couldn't get the upper hand, I flew off my raft and sank to the depths of the three feet of water I was in. When I came up, my eyes felt like the red in the
picture. Some would say,"too much chlorine." But I know better--my eyes hurt because there's not enough chlorine.

Anyway(s), that's why I'm out. And I'm gonna stay out till the ph gets better.
Let's see, I can't golf because of the heat, I can't swim because of the chlorine. It's tough out here in the Southwest.
Maybe I'll just retire from retirement.