THE ARMORY

MTV has an armory with offices for the National Guard. But until recently, it served a variety of community uses.

It housed high school math classes in the 60's when a growing number of boomers required more space. The last time I was in the Armory was to proctor some state achievement test, perhaps the Prairie State. Some kind of test that politicians insist to mask the fact that they aren't going to put more money into the schools. They'd rather build another bureaucracy and funnel it there with more administrators and paperwork than actually to help and allocate schools much needed money. No strings attached. No building funds/no education funds/no textbook funds. Just send them the money and they will figure out whether to spend it on teachers' salaries, a new bus, a computer lab, new textbooks, or better cafeteria food. Trust them, rather than pump millions into testing, when the SATs and ACTs offer a built-in test that students are motivated to take to illustrate their knowledge and achievement. And if they're doing well, then you know the ones who don't opt to take the tests are doing as well as they can or they don't care, and if that's the case, then no Prairie State or any other kind of test is going to be taken seriously by them. (Sorry about the rabbit trail, but sometimes I'm simply overwhelmed with common sense.)

The Armory housed the Pancakes and Sausage Day sponsored by the local Kiwanians. It also had a huge gym floor for high school PE classes and community leagues. The last time I played there, I was teaching but still clinging to some basketball by playing in games that featured city teachers against county teachers, although the last one of those I played in was at Chagnon Gym. But we had a team from First National Bank. Buddies Russ Hays, Mike DeVivo, Mick Howery, John Griffin and I led our team to an under .500 record. We weren't too hot, but FNB provided us with the best unis in the league and even paid for our gyms to practice, so we had fun.

The Armory also hosted teen dances. I remember a lot of them. But the best was when The Young Rascals were scheduled. They had just come out with "Groovin'". That was their number one song, which I believe was Number 1 at the time of their scheduled appearance. They didn't show. Our money was refunded. A bunch of the slower witted ones like me waited until the end, hope upon hope that they would show.

The Armory can't provide all those services since 9/11. A crackdown on possible terrorists targets, I suppose. So I don't know where the Sausage and Pancake Days hold their fundraisers. The high school is much smaller now; I'm not sure they even fill all their rooms. Some would probably have to be reserved for testing stations. As far as PE, the last I heard they don't even dress anymore, just street or school clothes sans showers. And teen dances? A bygone era, I'd guess. But if The Old Rascals ever show up, well I don't know where they'd play. But if I knew ahead of time, I'd be there.