I'VE LOST MINE, TOO ON OCCASION

Of course, I'm talking about my head. Recently I have had to keep it, too.

The last two days of our Caribbean cruise were at-sea days. As if any of us needed more sun time. But that's what you get when sailing from Virgin Gorda to Miami.

The first day our daughter went to the pool deck at 7:15 AM to claim our three spots. We arrived shortly afterwards to begin our day in the sun. Many cruisers claimed their choice spots by throwing down a book on a lounge chair to reserve it. Some were gone for quite some time. Thus, the worker in charge of the pool deck, a stereotypical prissy looking librarian of the 50's type, proceeded to pick up the books, towels, whatever was used to reserve and stack them in a pile. Opening up seats for the people who were actually there.

Pool arguments erupted when the owners of the books returned to have no seats. Some of the newbies didn't even know what had happened; they had just grabbed a seat.

Day 2, my wife and I arrived at a dark 7:00 AM to snag our seats. None were set up yet because of the New Year's on-deck party. We waited patiently. While one of the two pool guys set up chairs all around us. But not where we wanted them. I offered to move three chairs. He told me he would get to it. Our daughter joined us. I headed for some coffee. When I returned, still no luck. My two girls headed to breakfast.

Finally he brings out the chairs, but doesn't have the covers on them. I sit in a two-seater and wait next to the three I've claimed. A woman walks over, examines the middle one. I comment, "I've saved those three." A mumble from her at 8:15. "I've been here since 7 o'clock," I state. Wondering why she has to have one of the three we had had the previous day. I mean there were several others available.

"You can't save three. Where are the other two?"

"At breakfast."

"Sure they are."

"Well, they are," I respond, now getting ticked.

"You weren't here at 7:00 because I didn't see you when I came down at 7:30." She continued. "They'll come and take your books like they did yesterday."

Wrong again. My final salvo. A lame, "No, they won't."

She claimed the fourth chair. I wanted the third, next to her, but my wife sent me to the opposite end after she returned.

Actually I had one more response when my girls came back. Well within earshot, I shot, "I'd ask you how breakfast was, but I was called a liar when I said that's where you were. I hope it was good though."

There. I got in the last word. But I didn't wish her a Happy New Year. Maybe next time.