FIVE HOURS IS A LONG TIME

to sit behind a woman on an airplane. A woman who as George Will said "knew virtually nothing about everything". Yet that was our dilemma on Sunday night.

Fortunately for me, she was seated directly in front of my wife. She directed most of her knowledge to a young high school girl seated directly in front of a Canadian teacher next to CQ. As an aisle seat passenger, I was spared the direct hits.

But this woman never shut up the entire trip. That's not quite true. When she couldn't have undivided attention, she announced that it was reading time. We in the row behind celebrated. But it was short lived. Her book was closed and her mouth was re-opened after a five minute interval. Her topics ranged from her being an art model to what she wore when she was in high school. Another expertise was food additives and toxicity.

It literally made the most talkative human I've ever known up to that point an introvert. She talked so much that it interfered with my sleep. Almost nothing does that.

Rather than the very nice Canadian teacher, I was wishing former fellow teacher Mary Foreman from MTVHS was seated with us. Bloody Mary, as she was called by scared students (and teachers) would have quietened her with one hard look.

As I type this entry, I'm still suffering from Sunday's jet lag. I'm still eyes widely shut. All because of the expert who shared her knowledge.