FEATS

I don't understand foot fetishes. I'm not sure I understand any fetish. Mr. Webster defines a fetish as an object regarded as having magical power; a talisman. And that's the first or principal meaning.

Yet I've heard of people having foot fetishes. I don't get it.

With today's styles for both sexes there is ample opportunity to gaze upon feet and toes aplenty. Sandals and especially popular flip flops force the wearer to pay attention to his/her own feet more or expose unclipped toenails and toe jam to the world.

The toes pictured above seem to be those of a young child. Fat toes nearly bursting with newness are a dead giveaway. At the other end of the age spectrum, one can expect to find bunions and an occasional hammertoe. In addition to yellow nail fungus. (See why I could never have a foot fetish--even the terms of description for our pods are mostly unfavorable.)

Fat Freddy Flintstone feet, little toe daggers, webbed duck toes, broken toes that never mended right, hairy girl toes, along with corns all paint pretty negative images. Dirty toenails, cracked heals, and of course smelly feet just prove my point.

When I see guys in movies painting women's toenails or even worse. Ok, what's worse? Sucking or licking their toes, well, it just grosses me out. Painting is ok, I guess, and yes women's feet look better with some polish on them, but don't worry; I'm not getting anything close to a fetish about them. Plus, I abhor the smell of the polish and remover.

A final gross out for me is illustrated by my brother and sister-in-law who are golfers. They golf in golf sandals. They golf a lot. When they have their sandals off, they have raccoon feet. Spotted by their tans. Spotted in weird places on the tops of their feet. Yes, I used to wear golf sandals, too, and display some of the same characteristics, though I tanned from swimming, thus, my spots weren't as stark.

I know it's a tired joke, but it is still odd that our nose runs and our feet smell. But it's not any odder to me than someone who gets a kick out of feet.