JUST THAT KIND OF DAY

I recently got one of those funny e-mails that people like to send to those on their address list. It talked about a man who was allergic to gravity. I liked that because I've said for a long time when someone trips or falls, "There must be a whole lot of gravity around here."

But it seems that there is truth in two expressions that the beaver pictured (by the way, I saw the other day that Beaver Cleaver's Mom turned 94. Are you kidding me? How did she get that old? She shared the same birthday as Cricket [Christine] on The Young and Restless. How can that be that she is 41? When did all this aging happen?) experienced in the photo.

"I shoulda stood in bed?" Actually, I never understood that one. It sounds sorta New Yorkien to me, but I assumed it meant "stayed in bed". We've all had those days. Or "I got up on the wrong side of the bed." I know that one doesn't exactly fit, because that implies grumpiness; plus, it's usually not said in first person, but by an observer. So maybe the beaver picture has only one application after all.

For me, it's stoplights. Some days I literally get the red lights at every possible intersection. In Scottsdale, there is no logic to how long one can wait or how long a green light will last. With one exception. Scottsdale Road will allow the driver to go for several lights if one keeps his speed at 47 mph. The speed limit, rarely observed out here, is 45, but if the driver can hold it at 47, he can go for miles and miles as the old song goes before a red light will appear.

But when I'm getting all those reds, I lose patience pretty quickly. I'm getting better, but if I'm alone and have been stopped because of a wreck ahead of me, I've been known to yell, hit the roof over my head or the steering wheel, and yes honk, though I don't like to do that anymore. I live in the West where there are too many gun-packing folks that may have more self control in traffic, but less self control to honkers.

But sometimes I do feel like that Beaver. The other Beaver, too, but those stories are for other entries On The QT.