AND HIS HAT ROSE LIKE YEAST

There seem to be some simple things that I don't know. One for sure is why the big chef hats? It has to be for identification purposes only. Otherwise they make no sense at all.

When I chefed, at Burger Chef we had to wear a stupid paper folded hat to keep our 60's Beatle hair out of the burgers and fries. I hated the hat as I do most all hats, simply because I do not have a head or face for a hat. But at least no hairnets were a requirement.

Who besides Marge Simpson or the Coneheads would need a hat so tall? While I'm at it, what's up with the Pope's big hat? Is it to make him look more regal? Taller? Most Pope's don't have much hair anyhow and they don't cook except when the cardinals are trying to pick a new one and letting the people in the Vatican Square know whether they have a new Pope or not.

That's another thing I should know but can't remember. When they decide, is the smoke gray or black? I think the clearer smoke means they have one, but I've been 11/12's Baptist and 1/12th Presbyterian for 3 years now, but 0% Catholic, so how should I know that one? Ok, I should, but just add that to the list.

Another one I don't get is the Navy hats. They don't look to serviceable (pun I didn't catch on my first reading) to me, and they don't make anyone look too good either in my opinion. I like their uniforms, but unless someone can explain the usefulness of those hats, I'm not liking them.

Let's see, I've probably offended cooks and chefs, the Pope, and one branch of the armed forces. Let's see if there are any other toes to step on. Women's hats. Nope... not going there today.