"DON'T MESS WITH_____"

Fill in the blank. With Texas, Bill, or me and mine.

My next door neighbor, a doctor recently retired and whose name is Beheler (pronounced Be Healer--how cool is that for a physician''s name) recently had surgery at Mayo Clinic. He felt a little bad in Recovery because of all the other patients there who had had brain surgery and heart surgery. He had had his big toenail removed.

It reminded me of the movie "Alice's Restaurant" when Arlo was in jail for illegal dumping. He was incarcerated with "murderers, rapers, and mother rapers".

But to show you the kind of stock I spring from is the animus for this entry. My brother, who is older than I (not many people are anymore) went out to fetch his paper. Upon his return he badly, badly stubbed his toe on one of his steep steps leading to his front door. He went through the house bleeding profusely he knew.

He sat at the kitchen table and accessed the damage. Blood and a curled up big toenail on the left side of his right foot. He knew nothing else to do but tear the rest off. He pulled off his big toenail. If that doesn't send shivers down you, then we might be related.

"I saved it. I'll mail it to you," he responded. Then he laughed and decided to just wait until I returned to MTV to share it.

And that, dear reader(s) is why you shouldn't give me any trouble.