GREENPEACENIK...TREE HUGGER

So what's the term for a non-hunter? One who has never fired a gun? One whose biggest kill was a small mouse caught in a trap in 1969?

Well, whatever you come up with, that's me. How about this? The biggest fish I've ever caught weighed less than one pound. And it was originally snagged by my wife in a Minnesota lake. Naturally, I took control, took the line and reeled in that 3/4 crappie. I shoulda had it mounted.

What an outdoorsman!

But once I broke my brother-in-law's ax chopping firewood. So if that doesn't prove I love the great outdoors and God's creation, then what does?