DON'T BURN THE POPCORN

Is there any better snack? I don't know if my young adults (well, I can't call them kids any more) eat popcorn for breakfast, but it's good for me most any other time of the day. The only reason I included my offspring (that sounds even worse) is that both of them will eat cold pizza for breakfast, and that damages me. And, surprisingly neither drinks coffee. But I don't know how morning popcorn would be.

My favorite is theatre popcorn. Even if it costs five dollars a box, "and for 50 cents more, we can give you a large soft drink." My second favorite is Strothmann Field popcorn. Through twelve years of watching those morning pizza eaters play baseball or softball there, I was a loyal customer at the concession stand. My next favorite is Act II 100 calorie pack, 94% butter free. Actually, I'd prefer 100% buttery, but my waistline dictates otherwise.

But what about microwaved, burned popcorn? Is there any worse smell on the planet? I mean really burned? Last week I burned turkey bacon (is that an oxymoron?) badly in the microwave.

As I was sitting at the computer, I noticed a golf ball in my front yard. An errant shot from the 6th tee box that flew over my neighbor's house, hit the street and jumped into my yard. Maybe a Pro-V, I thought as I went to the kitchen to cook my bacon. While I hit the timer for 61 seconds, I must have hung around too long on the 1 and wound up skorching the bacon, which cooked for 6 minutes and 11 seconds. I didn't know that because I was retrieving the wickedly sliced golf ball--no Pro-V, but a new Top Flight.

Was there ever darker turkey bacon? And the smell. No matter what we did, that smell inhabited the house with us for nearly a week. But you know what? It could have been worse. It could have been popcorn.