THE THING

That's who he is. What he does, I don't know. I assume he's a comic book hero or a cartoon, but with someone so non-descript as to be called The Thing, well he could be anything.

He looks tough. He looks strong. He looks old, too. I mean why else would his face crack like that. In fact, I recognize a few of the same wrinkles I now sport.

He seems to missing some ears and some facial hair. Of any kind. Maybe a tooth or two, too. Plus his body is cracked.

Stone Phillips? Rock Hudson? Grant It? Somebody has to be more creative than just calling him The Thing.

In my comic book reading days we had real characters like Goofy, Pepe La Pew, Popeye, Superman, and Casper the Friendly Ghost. Not only characters, they had character.

The Thing? Are you kidding me? At least your superheroes should have to be identifiable. Calling one The Thing reminds me of talking to a college prof of mine before class one cold SIU morning. He blew his nose and left The Thing on his face. Smeared, but still connected to his left cheek bone. I didn't tell him about it since I didn't know what to call it. I guess I should have said, "Hey, Doc Vieth, you got a thing on your face there." But I didn't say anything because of my lack of vocabulary.

The Thing would have come in handy then.