THE BIRD WHO SOUNDS LIKE A PHONE

There was this hole, see. On a golf course, you see. It was at Karsten, ASU's home course, ya understand. All four of us were on or near the green, you know. And we's was all putting for pars or birdies, naturally.

When all of the sudden (ok, I'll stop now, because of all the little verbal pauses which become written hiccups, or hiccoughs as I've seen them written, all of THE sudden, bothers me the most, well except for all the sudden. It's all of a sudden, Ok?) this bird starts chirping. And he sounds just like a telephone ringing. Not one long and two shorts, but two rings.

He must have bothered us something awful because we walked off the green with 3 pars and 1 bogey. Imagine that. Skilled as we are to be upset to the point of adding an additonal stroke or two because of a bird who wouldn't quit chirping. Or who was too lazy to pick up the phone.

It reminded me of an old neighborhood comedy routine pulled off by the stoic Jerry Hongersmeier. He told Colleen Garry that she had a funny name. Imagine this phone coversation, he'd say.

"Who were you calling?"

"I was calling Colleen?"

"I know you were calling. But who were you calling?"

"I was calling Colleen."

He went on for awhile, just like "Who's on First?"

But we didn't play golf back then. And if a bird would have making that sound then and there, somebody would have rung his neck.