SORIANO ATTEMPTS HARI KARI

Erstwhile Cub outfielder thought he could take no more humiliation after the 9th consecutive Cub Playoff loss. While he didn't have the stomach to fall on his sword after Saturday night's loss, he was stupid enough to impale his cheek with two swords he borrowed from another erstwhile Cub outfielder Fukodome.

It was that kind of year for the Northsiders. What they're doing in the Playoffs anyway is obscene. I mean after 100 years of failing to win the World Series, I think they should have long ago been voted off the island. But with the baseball commissioner a former owner of the Brewers, I guess he wanted to allow them to keep playing and maybe make it to the Playoffs where they'd choke, naturally, and increase his old team's chances at a World Series. He even had the gall to force the Brewers to change leagues to be with the Cubs and increase their odds.

Soriano wasn't hurt by his actions with the sword. His feelings were hurt by hitting .083 for the series though after drawing a hefty paycheck. In fact, in the past two years, the Cubs have shelled out half a billion dollars in contracts to players and manager. The payoff: 0 wins in the Playoffs and two more years added to their futility.

To the good Cubs fans, and yes there are some, I apologize for this entry. For the typical Cub fan, all I can say is "wait till next year, but don't wait with baited breath." And as much as I don't care for the hot doggin' Soriano (and Zambrano), I hope he recovers quickly. I'd miss watching him lunge for that low and away slider.