THAT'S AS FAR AS I GOT

You see, I was making this woman the other day. I didn't want to leave the HOV lane on the 101, but I was alone in my car, and I thought of those people who prop up dummies or inflatables just to allow access to the fast lane.

As mechanical as I am, I knew it would be no problem constructing the female form, sitting her in the passenger seat, wrapping a seat belt around her and driving fast without the threat of discovery.

I started with a Freudian slip (pictured left). I knew no self respecting woman would be caught out in public without one.

From there it got a little harder. I couldn't get lips that would move to tell me where to turn. I couldn't get a flexible finger to wag at me. On the bright side, though, I could create that steely look, that wrinkled brow, and teeth bared in my direction.

I think she'll pass inspection. If I get pulled over by the police, they'll look at her and me, they'll see how angry she is, they won't want to spend any more time with her than I do, and they'll let me go. Probably even without a warning.

That's my plan and creation. I'm sticking to it.