HAIR PILED HIGH AND PAINT

When I watched high school girls at Prom, Sweetheart, and Homecoming dances pile their hair up high, I wondered why. When my wife did the same for our engagement picture, I questioned that, too.

They seemed so unnatural, so unlike what they normally look like with their hair down or at least combed back. Then the beauticians added pins or jewelry or clamps to hold the hair in place. Some even required solder. It didn't look natural to me, as I said.

But the older I get, the more I like hair pulled away from women's faces. If the woman is pretty, I think it really enhances her features. Even the goofy style where they wad their hair in a handful and clip it up. The sticked out hair looks rooster-like from the back. But it looks good in the front and from the side. So I say go for it. It's obviously the best looked for unwashed hair.

Now painted toenails are another subject. How did this act get started anyway? An aunt of mind one professed that the feet were the ugliest part of the body. So adorning toenails with color maybe improves the look. It seems like a lot of effort to me.

My take on it is it allows women to get away with dirty toenails. It hides the dirt that no matter what you do you can't get out. Oh, not a lot, just a fleck in the corner of each big toenail. You pick at it, especially hard to remove is some beach sand, to the point of making it bleed, and there it is: either discoloration or dirt so stubborn that only finger/toenail paint or polish can cover.

And if you think I'm totally out in left field on this idea, then how do you explain navel piercings? Stumped? I have the answer: they're hiding belly button lint.