WHAT COULD BE SCARIER

than the Wicked Witch of the West? I mean that voice. I mean flying monkeys. I mean some pinched face old woman trying to take away your dog. Margaret Hamilton was a classic anti-heroine. She certainly looked the part.

And so did my third grade teacher, Mrs. Carpenter. Since this is my 405 th blog entry (wasn't that the number for MASH?) and since I just celebrated my 40th high school class reunion, it's likely that you've heard this story before.

"He's not working up to his capabilities," she told my parents at Open House. Now, every teacher knows that all you do Open House Night is smile and say good things about even the most despicable student. If there's a real problem suggest a parent-teacher meeting. Not my teacher. And I was really not a problem student.

She told a friend of mine, third grader Blaine, that he was stupid when he pronounced the s in island. She told me I could give more wrong answers to questions than anybody she had ever seen. And to top it all off, she looked like the Wicked Witch of the West.

I'm so glad I didn't discover that until years later. I'm sure I would have told another student in my class and it would get back to her that I was the culprit. Some guys just can't catch a break. I'm sure there were some third grade teachers who were like Glenda,the Good Witch, but they didn't teach at Field School back in 1956.