CARDINALS SIGN ELIOTT HEDIN

With a premium on starting pitching this off season, the St. Louis Cardinals signed MTV High grad Elliott Hedin (pictured left) to a one-year contract to fill one of the slots in the pitching rotation.

"I know Hedin's not a shoo-in to make the staff, but my hands are tied with this payroll thing," commented Walt Jocketty.
"Plus," Jocketty continued, "he's a heckuva hitter. One year in YMCA ball, he almost won the home run title simply by hitting hard ground balls passed the roped off area indicating home run."

Cardinal co-owner Bill DeWitt was pleased with the signing," What the hey. If he doesn't fit into our pitching rotation, I can use him in salary negotiations. He is an attorney, you know. Maybe he can give TRL somebody to talk to in the dugout when he's not on the hill."

Hedin was unavailable for comment. Something about, "Where is this Show Me place?"