THE TIE'S THE THING

Double Windsor, big knot, clip on, neck extender. Man, I've tried them all. I used to wear a tie to church every Sunday. Same with work, if you can call teaching high school work. (You can certainly call meetings and in-service workshops work, but if you like people, especially young quasi-adults, then it's not work.)

But I've worked trying to tie the tie. The most success I had with ties was when the style was big knots. But when that changed, my appearance suffered. It must have been hereditary. My Dad was no great shakes with tying a tie, though his looked better than mine. He, like my brother, wore the clip-ons.

My son even rented a video on how to tie. His wife and I have worked with him a lot. His ties, which he wears daily, are not much better knotted than mine. He'll have to wait till the big, wide ties come back. He, like me, rejects the clip-ons.

When casual clothing styles for teachers came into vogue, it was a relief for me. No more choking or red marks on my neck. And when a youth pastor of ours told me his friends wouldn't attend our church because too many men wore ties to the worship service, I acquiesced and gave up wearing them, being the sacrificial guy I am.

Weddings and funerals. That's it for me now. Maybe that's why I'm not too wild about attending either.