WHY ARE LADIES SLOW PLAYERS?

Simple. They're not.

It's a myth. Just like the acronym Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden.

I've been fortunate enough to play golf with lots of different ladies. Percentage wise they are no slower at all than men. Only a few come to mind, simply because they couldn't hit the ball very far at all. But most know when it's their turn, most don't fish for golf balls in the water hazards, at least not to the extent of men, and most don't take as much time on the greens.

I'm not saying any of this out of fear, patronization, or delusion. I've just been stuck in the uninviable position of having to wait and wait while a foursome of men stand around, none of them ready to take his turn. In the meantime, the foursome behind me is charging, breathing down my neck, occasionally hitting into my group while we wait on the group in front of us. But hey, it's tough all over.

At the Cardinals game in Phoenix yesterday afternoon, I was subjected to the slowest working pitcher I've ever seen. I'm watching the papers closely, and if Doug Davis ever throws for the Diamondbacks again, and I'm there to see it, he better be coming in from the bullpen. Because I won't go to watch him. I started to call it work, but as long as it takes him and as soft as he throws, I think I'll say bore. Just get the ball, get the sign, check any base runners and throw it. As in golf, know who's away, do all the visualization and lining up and practice swing--only one allowed, and hit the ball.

Male or female, it doesn't matter. But one must put his/her brain in gear first.