WHAT TURNS YOUR CRANK?

Former high school principal Jim Shiflett used that term when addressing the student body once. He was a big guy, and if I caused his crank to be turned, well, it would have been by accident.

Lots of things these days make my crank turn. Or at least make me cranky. Let me begin.

1. People who are enthusiastic about January 2009 when we get a new Prez. Are you kidding me? Who out there on either side is there to get excited about?

2. Movies. Why aren't there more that I want to see? Why all the pessimism? language? weird stuff? just negativeness? It reminds me of movies from the 70's when you'd walk out of the theatre puzzled by what you had seen?

3. Jealousy. Why can't people not worry about what someone else has? Why can't they be thankful for what they do have? It used to be trying to keep up with the Joneses. Now it's let's tear down the Joneses.

4. Sports. My teams are in a rut. Even the Suns are a grumbling bunch. Every weekend, it's the same. Whoever I'm rooting for loses. So I'm ready for the Giants and Patsies to win this afternoon, because I want the Pack and Bolts to. At least North Carolina lost yesterday.

5. The weather. Man, we've had more frosts in AZ this year alone than in the past several. I know, it's 5 degrees in St. Lou today and snow in the South. And I wish it were better weather there, too. And why do weathermen and women have to be so happy about crummy forecasts?

I have a few more, but hey, I don't want to get your crank in a wad. Oh, well, there's nothing like a mixed simile.