FOR A GOOD TIME

In ancient times in the Old World, advertising existed. We may groan at the numerous commercials that invade our tv watching, except for the one from Dairy Queen about the guy boarding a plane trying to stuff his baggage into an overhead compartment while a fellow passenger steals gulps of his Blizzard. No matter how many times I see that one I laugh when the luggage falls and plops down on some unsuspecting passengers, But sadly the gecko is getting very annoying along with lots of other commercials.

When sailors hit terra firma again in Ancient Turkey, there was advertising awaiting them, This photo shows perhaps the first example. A rock carving illustrates a drawing, seen in the lower left hand corner, of a woman extolling her beauty. At the top of the photo, one can see a big footprint showing the way to the fourth house just off the Agora or Beama, or marketplace.

This is the home of the woman who is directing the sailor(s). Also in the Turkish carving is an etching of an ancient coin, indicating that her services will cost the weary, yet eager sailor(s).

Perhaps not as sophisticated as modern advertising, it was ingenious for ancient times in Ephesus. As amazingly, her advertising medium, rock, lasted throughout the years.

WHAT A GUMBY IS

I vaguely first remember Gumby on The Howdy Doody Show. He didn't do much; in fact, I don't think he even talked. But he wasn't as cool as Clarabell, who only told us, "Good-bye."

I never understood what Gumb was. But I read that he turned 50 the other day. So happy semi-century, big guy.

I guess I should have asked Stephanie Lindsay about him. I remember she liked him. But she has a newborn and a 3 year-old, so she probably needs to make better use of her time. She dressed as Gumby for Halloween once I remember.

When I went to Illinois State and guys found out I was a Mt. Vernonite, they said, "Oh, you now Gumby then." I said, no. But when they told me his name, of course, I knew him, but not as Gumby. I think he knew more people at ISU than I did, and they all simply called him Gumby. I didn't ask why. Maybe he did look a little like him.

So I'm still puzzled. What's with the lack of feet? Is he clay like Mr. Bill? What the heck does he do? Why does he need a horse or pony? And does he ever ride it?

I don't know. Along with Stephanie's brother, Mike, we invented, or rather borrowed a real guy's name and tried to get him elected to Student Council when Mike was in high school. We failed. I got yelled at. But we had a lot of fun doing it. I think our invention of Ed Bauta was better than Gumby, but Ed will never make it to 50.

MARK LITTLE COLLECTS HIT NUMBER 1000

When I googled Mark Little, this was the closest to a picture that I could rustle up in my limited technological skills. According to the Arizona Republic, Mark recently achieved the 1000th hit in the Minor Leagues.

He's had 247 hits in the Major Leagues with several teams including the Cardinals, Rockies, Diamondbacks and several others in limited action.

Why a blog entry about him? His parents were high school friends of mine and he's a cousin of another friend who keeps me informed about him. While I never met Mark, I've rooted for him since his high school days. And I think it's awesome to get 1000 hits. Anywhere.

I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing I could have duplicated half or a third of that total; gosh, I'd settle for one AB in the minor leagues.

So while the AR called him a modern day Crash Davis, I think it's more about loving the game, hoping for a call up, hoping for a streak to get a chance to get back to the show as they call it.

He's had a great baseball career. Man, I'd love for him to get one more chance to make his little mark (obvious bad pun) in the Majors.

THE BEATLES THE IMPACT

Early Beatles still amaze me. Their songs were so simple, yet so enjoyable. In fact, most of the early lyrics were monosyllabic. From the titles "I Wanna Hold Your Hand," to "She Loves You," and all the way to "Hey, Jude." Ok, for the purpose of argumentation, I did leave out a few hundred other titles, but even the lyrics take on the simplistic.

"She was just 17, if you know what I mean/ but the way she looked was way beyond compare." Just a sampling, but try it with most of the early songs and you'll see what I mean.

It's similar to the revelation that Emily Dickinson's poems can be sung to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas." Try it with even some of her more serious poems, such as "Because I could not Stop for Death:" /he kindly stopped for me. This knowledge came to me through the old tv sit. com. Head of the Class. Once, Mr. Blair came to my class in American Lit. and sang an Emily poem to that tune.

Lots of times simple is better. Even in The Beatles and Emily Dickinson.

SAM HOUSTON INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY

Or S.H.I.T. for short. Are you kidding me? The uproar in the media is President Bush's use of the term in talking about Syria in the current Mid-East crisis?

Evidently an open mike at the G8 Conference revealed this EXPLETIVE as the media puts it. The same media that allows (read encourages ) much more gutter language in movies and television. When is the last time you read a movie reviewer criticize a movie for bad language? Yet, they love movies like The 40 Year-Old Virgin with terrible, vulgar language in it.

One utterance by the President of the least of all offensive words and there's an uproar. "But he's the President," you say. And I say,
"What about the last one? Was he raked over the proverbial coals for his language and actions?"

You might respond,"As a matter of fact, he was impeached." And my retort, "When is the last time you've heard that attached to him?"

You see, you can't have it both ways. Bash Bush, Forgive Clinton. Scrutinize Bush, Paint Clinton with a broader (invisible) brush.

It's enough to make me mad as H-E-double hockey sticks.

FLIP FLOPS AND TOMMY BAHAMA

I first remember flip flops from the Republican Convention when delegates in reference to algore's waffling chanted "flip flop" as they hit the sandals together. Tommy Bahama's I first experienced in Florida. I still like the smell of the shirts and candles.

But as a sign of increasing age, my body no longer is fashionable. I can't stand the single strap between by big toes and the others. I don't like to wear Tommy Bahama shirts on the outside. To get one to fit me properly, I have to go to a larger size, then it's too long to remain untucked.

And my favorite style, a tank top and cutoffs with open heels and toes, just doesn't cut it anymore. Except at Sprouts or Frys groceries.

Oh well, I held on to Sperrys boat shoes too long, too.

MY WIFE MET A ROO WHO HATED HER

Sad, but true. In Australia. At some place where they had kangaroos and wambats. You could feed them or get up real close for pictures. You could even pet some, if I remember correctly. Not my wife.

At least with one. Who took a swing, actually a close to the body punch at her. Of course I defended her and smacked that...naugh, I didn't even see it the first time. But to prove it no fluke, she approached him again, a little more trepidly and not as closely. Same result. He offered to punch no one else. Not even an annoying family, father -mother-kids (two) who were trailing us.

So what is surprising about that is that he didn't dislike me. My wife gets along well with strangers. Not me. Oh, I certainly don't try to antagonize, but I seem to bring out the rudeness in people.

At the grocery store on Thursday they were having an Italian night promotion near the deli and there was hardly any room to stand and give the cook your pasta order without being in the way. Some older woman yelled at me to move my buggy so she could get through. I didn't have a buggy. I knew my limitations and was carrying a hand basket. Oh well, I could forgive her for her age, but it happens to me all the time. Somehow I bring out the rudeness in people. Who direct it at me. Scapegoat TQ.

And it's been that way my whole life. Seriously. Not paranoially. Truthfully.

One more example for family and a few close friends. The fight on the beach in Hawaii. Well, we didn't, but we were close. ( I overheard him tell his girlfriend when she came down that he had almost gotten into a fist fight, right there on the bwach of Waikiki.)

But my wife is just the opposite. Almost no one is ever rude to her. Nuff said. Except that kangaroo. What was he thinking?