MUCH TOO SOON

The Snow Birds are leaving. Most will head north this weekend, and they're about the last. The remainders who squeezed out just a few more weeks of our AZ weather. But they're really leaving way too soon. Wait till June 15 or so.

I played golf with an Illinoisian yesterday. His last round until who knows when. On the last hole I thought he was going to weep. He didn't play it well at all. It's hard to hit a golf shot when you're shoulders are jumping uncontrollably because of severe sobs.

Galena, IL is north of Chicago and that is his destination today. At the other end of the state, our oldest grandson's baseball tryouts were rained out on Saturday and snowed out on Sunday. It will only be worse in Galena. If he would stick around here, there would be no need for a rain dance. Because it would be futile.

Not quite like Arica, Chile, that we visited on our way to Cuzco, Peru. A coastal city, it never rains there. Never. Temperatures in the Summer are 80-85 degrees.

Now let me see what's wrong with this picture. It has an ocean. It never rains. It's 80-85. Why is it not the most populated city in the world? It sure sounds good to me.

Why we didn't just stay there instead of continuing our vacation is a mystery to me. It's probably just as well that we didn't or I would have been like the Snow Bird and not wanted to leave.

PLAY BALL!

My all-time favorite SI cover is the one on the right. From my all time favorite baseball team, the St. Louis Cardinals.

As another season gets underway in just a few short days, I'm excited. Not that I think the Cardinals can win it all again as they did just three years ago, but there's always that chance.

Opening Day should be a national holiday. Seriously. Give everyone a day off and celebrate America's pastime. It's better than a lot of the holidays we have. Presidents' Day? Are you serious? Do you get excited about that? About a day off work in February?

Maybe if you got to pick the President's birthday you wanted to celebrate. Now, there's an idea. You'd get a day off and not shut down banks and the post office. Then if you wanted to celebrate Abe Lincoln's birthday on February 12, then go ahead. Not me. I'll take someone born in a good weather month whether I like him as Prez or not.

"Sorry, he/she is not available today. It's James Polk's birthday, you know." Not only would you not cause business to come to a stop, you'd be educating people and celebrating a President at the same time.

It could never happen. It makes too much sense. Just like taking a day off for the start of baseball season. Come to think of it, we could just call that President's Day, Wild Card Day.

But just in case the President's Day doesn't work out, and just in case the national Opening Day doesn't catch on, well, just call in sick. After all, it should be a holiday. Plus you don't want to miss the first pitch.

LOOK INTO IT

I've never been to Mt. Prospect, IL, but a friend of mine used to teach there. He never told me about their water tower.

Now you tell me there's only water in that tower. With all those supporting poles? I counted at least 10. Never have I seen so many for no larger reservoir.

Only two scenarios come to mind. There's more than water in that bowl. Or some pole contractor made off with a lot of money for selling the city fathers a bill of goods.

Those aren't just the ordinary support poles. The one in the middle is large enough to support the entire structure alone if you ask me. And since Mt. Prospect is in northern Illinois, that is, anything north of say Farina, then you know those shady characters cannot be trusted. But for the sake of speculation, we'll say the poles were needed because of sinking shale and porous bedrock from where the glaciers receded.

Then what's really in that tank? That's the question. Maybe the writers from 24 should be consulted. But I'd suspect it's something nuclear or biologically cultured for destructive purposes.

Maybe I'm just making too big a deal out of it. I'm capable of doing that. But I'm glad my friend doesn't live there anymore.

INCAS MORE THAN DINKAS DID

We just returned from a great South American cruise. The highlight: Machu Picchu in Peru. Thirty-five from our ship enjoyed the fabulous site of the Inca civilization from 1450-1550. A few days after our return to Lima, Peru, where we caught up with our ship, I wrote the following. If you ever get a chance to go there, please take advantage and don't pass it up.

.... .... ..... .... ...... .......... ..... ............... ....... ......... ...... ............... ....... ......... ...... .. . ...

Those old enough to remember Jimmy Durante probably recall his theme song, "Inka Dinka Do". Well, the Incas more than created something dinky.

Machu Picchu is not only Peru's magnificence, it's the world's. It took us planes and a ship and a train and buses to get to the marvelous site to enjoy for 3 1/2 hours or so.

It wasn't enough time. Just to look and fill our eyes. It was like we couldn't look hard enough. Long enough. Even though we knew we could never forget.

No picture could capture it. You just had to experience Machu Picchu in its unabashed splendor.

The symmetry, the contrast of the mountains rising, peaks sometimes obscured by white cotton clouds in bunches. The valley, flat and fertile, holding white granite in perfect order. Terraces sandwiched on top of terraces suited for llamas' ascension for grazing, for pulling or snatching tasty green grass. Their only interruptions: tourists with cameras. But they won't last. They never do. Yet they never want to leave when the time is up.

And while there was only one Creation by God, we can't use that word to describe Machu Picchu. But when anyone asks if you've seen the ruins there, tell them you've seen the marvels of Machu Picchu. Don't let anyone call them ruins.

WHEN THE OPOSSUM LOST ITS O

That's not right, you know. What if the cat lost its c or the dog its d? Yet there's no uproar over taking away the o from opossum.

I mean is it an anti-Irish thing? Was the O' Possum discriminated against? Is he secretly referred to as a mick?

He/She is a good looking enough sort. I've gone out with worse in my day, so where's the disgrace, the shame, the reason for disrespecting the opossum?

I'd like to start a movement. Either give the creature his rightful o back or I'm advocating taking the first letter from every animal. Animals, you, too, must unite in support. Or would you rather be an ig?

THE CHALLENGE TO CHANGE

Can a zebra change its stripes? Ok, maybe I mixed an animal metaphor, but this picture didn't have any spots. By the way, did you know that the zebra is really black with white stripes?

I've sported a mustache and goatee for several years now. Some of my friends have never seen me clean shaven. But watch out! I've finally left the '80s and am smooth faced. That's right--no more hair.

I was getting tired of the old look. The one that had turned grayer and grayer and grayer over the years. The trimming. The careful use of a razor over and around corners of the goatee. But I never felt I had a goatee. The first I ever saw was Maynard G. Krebs' on The Dobie Gillis Show. Mine didn't look like his, but I guess it was in fact a goatee.

Hairy, I am a two a day shaver. I hate the sticky, stubby feel. I also hate the white or gray hairs of unshavenness. The current trend by those who set current trends is to have a three day growth. Not me. Not even when all I had was blackness of beard. That look reminds me of Otis Campbell on The Andy Griffith Show. Or Earthquake McGoon from Lil' Abner. Not for me.

So if you're a hairy guy, take the challenge. Shave and be a clean cut man. It may not be the '50s anymore, but it's not the '80's either.