OAKLAND ALEMEDA COUNTY COLLISEUM

I can't type that without hearing Howard Cosell's staccato pronunciation. It may be too much in the past, but with ESPN Classics, I hope you've been able to hear a little of the voice that gave definition to the NFL and Monday Night Football. But our trip to the Bay Area was about baseball, the BART, and a bad oyster.

Caroline had a convention in San Fran back in 1993. We pulled Courtney out of school and she accompanied us to the Fairmont Hotel for our three days. By this time our friend Cris Carpenter was a Texas Ranger. When we arrived at the hotel, Cris was pitching a whale of a game for the Rangers. I think he got the win.

While Caroline was at her convention, Courtney and I boarded the BART and went to an afternoon game in Oakland. A very nice stadium that is well adapted for baseball except for the huge foul territories. We got there early and headed, unimpeded to the rail to look for Cris. We surprised him with our presence and Courtney wearing a Ranger hat. His pitching coach, whose name escapes me now, and Cris came over to talk. Cris got in the game, but got shelled on this day. And in his next appearance if I recall.

I kept thinking of old Raider teams before they and their fans got urban or ghetto punk. And Cosell and Madden and Reggie and Catfish and those cool unis and their owner Charley Finley. It did have an atmosphere and beautiful weather.

The seats were good, the food was fine. A good day. Till Cris pitched. Overall I'd give the ballpark a solid B.

After the game we got back on the BART. We rode for awhile, and 13-year old Courtney tells me we need to change trains. No way, I thought. She pointed to a map, I looked across at a passenger within earshot and he nodded. I would really have gotten us lost. So ever since then Courtney directs me. Or Caroline. Or Scott. Or whomever I'm with. Hey, I know my limitations.

Except when it comes to eating. I love(d) oysters. I used to love to watch people eat their first raw one. If you haven't indulged and have a little hay fever, cold or sinus problem, just take a big sniff and swallow. That's what it's like. But I'd never got a bad one until that night. Boy was I sick for the next two days. One day, I managed to walk to a park across the street from the hotel and sit there with Courtney for about 30 minutes. That was it for that day. Except for getting real familiar with the Fairmont bathroom. It took me years to eat another of any kind. I still recall that trip and that time. I mumble a little prayer before I try them now.

FUN AT FENWAY

The Green Monster before they added the seats above it, appeared to Mr. Hicks and me like this when we went to see a red sox game back in 1999 or so. It rained, it blew, it misted, it clouded,but it was a lot of fun, The sox played the blue jays. Wakefield vs. David Wells.

I don't remember who won, but I remember thinking Jose Cruz, Jr. , or whatever Cruz they had was really good. I remember a cheer that one sox fan kept yelling,"Trade Trot Nixon. We want Sosa." He repeated it fifty times during the game. No one helped him out either.

When I hear people extol wrigley, I always ask them, "Have you been to Fenway?" Most haven't. Most can't leave their beloved chicogo or a memory of wrigley on wgn when they were 4. Well, Fenway is all that wrigs ain't. It's clean, friendly, has a great area surrounding the park, has the great Green Monster, has great food. It has tradition worth holding onto. It's in a great city with a real northside downtown. It's a safe-feeling city. It's historic. It's fun.

One other cool thing about Fenway. When we were there, so was Kelby Brake. Naw we didn't run into her there that night, but that would have been cool. Sam and I headed back to the hotel, soggy (again--what is it about Mr. Hicks and wet ballgames?) but impressed by Boston

I'd give Fenway an A, though still not as great as a game at Busch (post-astroturf, of course.)

PRO PLAYER STADIUM

If Alfred Lord Tennyson is correct when in "Ulysses" he said, "I am part of all that I have met," then Sam Hicks added a little to me at Pro Player Stadium when it first opened in 1995. Our friend Cris Carpenter was claimed off the Cardinal roster by the Marlins. This was not a popular pick up in our family.

But Cris got us tickets to the Marlins opening weekend season in Miami. It happened to coincide with our Spring Break which worked out well for us. We went to Marco Island at the beginning of the week and ended our vacation in Fort Lauderdale where we were joined by the Hicks' at our hotel. After a day at the beach, we loaded up and went south to the ballgame. Sam kept on his swimming trunks and threw a shirt over his head. Hey, it was raining and predicted more precip for the evening. And Sam was, well, Sam.

The stadium was converted from the Dolphins football stadium, thus its name today. It was not done well, with a huge funky scoreboard in left that Padre Gary Sheffield homered over for a Marlin loss, late in the game. The food was really good with a lot of Cuban flavor to it. After the game we were to meet Cris and Jane. What we didn't know was where. Caroline and Courtney ran into Jane and Cris' father. They led us to the media room where we waited for Cris to finish his post-game spread.

All kinds of personalities were there, Jay Randolph, Gary Carter, along with players' wives and Sam. All decked out in his swimming trunks. Well, Sam was in trunks, not the wives or personalities. We were there for about an hour before Cris came out, tired but well fed. Cris' dad, a high school music teacher acted as his agent and secured a good signing bonus with the Cardinals for Cris. We talked about Dal Maxvill, not on good terms with any of the Carps, and the crummy weather. If anyone was upset with Sam's clothes, besides his son, Michael, no one said. But it was a source of ribbing for Sam for years.

If I were to give wrigley an E, then ProPlayer would be a C+, just a shade better than KC's Kaufman Park.

AT KC With a cold frosty for the 2005 Cardinals and Manager of the Year Tony La Russa.
They deserved better, but for the second year in a row choked it in the post season. I'm so sick of umpires right now. I know many of you have umped baseball at some level. It ain't rocket science. Especially calling balls and strikes. But how could Lewis miss that call at second tonite? Baffles me. But I expected it. The Astros are a nice team. How about the Cardinals fans applauding them when it was over. Too classy.

For next year I expect to see a lot of new faces including Brian Giles. Gone should be Walker, Sanders, Marquis, Morris, Taveras,and Wainwright. Plus one more starter--Edmonds or Grudz. Mulder will be back, but, boy did he cut it short tonite?

In 1983, I attended a ballgame at Royals stadium. I don't remember who they played or if they won or lost. It seems they lost as a Tiger? hit a slam early in the game. It's a beautiful stadium with good sight lines and good food. But not much atmosphere. The fans sit on their hands. Even when encouraged to Make some noise. The fountains are ok but kinda out of place for me. It was neat to be able to see Arrowhead Stadium next door and the traffic on the interstate. At the time I thought the interstate close to the stadium. Of course, that's before the New Busch.
It was clean. It was clear. It was a very middling ballpark in a middling city. Speaking of umpires and Kansas City. Enjoy the World Series--Houston in 6 is my prediction. But if you can't stand to see it without baseball's best team in it, then have a good offseason.

WRIGLEY FIELD SUCKS ROCKS

And not just because the cubbies have never been to a World Series in my life. It's just typical chicogo.

The only time I've ever gone there, I found out Courtney really did know Todd Zeile, met Marty Prather the "Sign Man", and saw the Cardinals lose two on the last Saturday of the season in 1990 or so.

We left Mt. Vernon about 6 am in the Hicks' van to make the five hour drive or so to the windy shitty. We had been given 8 field boxes in row five or so behind the makeshift Cardinal pitching mound. To call it a bullpen would have been a stretch. Kinda like calling the Little League above ground dugouts. Typically freezing weather in late September. I know it must have been September because the cubbies rarely if ever play in October. Scott had to use napkins for socks since it was a nice warm day when we left Mt. Vernon. (Side bar: at the Rams game on October 9 I ran into an old student of mine as we were leaving the Dome. Scott Parks yells, "Hey, TQ. You still working at MTV?" Two walkers by snapped their heads around to see if I was someone important. Satisfied that I wasn't, and certainly unaware that he meant Mt. Vernon High, they continued their exit from the game.)
Arriving early for the games, we took in wrigleyville and all its amenities. We ran into the stupid ronnie woowoo decked out in cub uni. We met and chatted with Marty Prather who had brought his signs. We've stayed friends with him and his wife Karin through the years. The Cardinal team bus pulls up and we stand in a line as they walk between us to get into the field?stadium?park?outdated, antiquated,Vernois Gym excuse for a baseball park. Zeile reaches out and pats a ten-year-old Courtney on the head and says, "Hi Courtney." She said he knew her and he really did.
Once inside we head to the awefullest bathroom I've ever been in. The guys anyway. Dirty pee smelling trough. And the game hasn't started. And these are the box seat area. I guess the cheap seats had restrooms with dirt floors and holes in the ground.
We find our seats and leave excess baggage with the women while we head down to get autographs of the Cardinals just a few rows in front of our seat. Wrong. We are told to return to our seats by the rudest ushers I have ever seen anywhere. They wouldn't even allow us to walk 5 rows back with a better chance to catch batting practice foul balls. This prompted me to tell one of them that they should issue seat belts to the fans, too. During the second game, I took Courtney to the right field bleachers to sit for awile in the seats we had seen on tv. The usher asked where our seats were. I pointed and showed him our stubs. "Well then, that's where you need to sit." Hey, there might have been twenty people there. Rude.
We left for our hotel shortly after that and watched the rest on wgn. I remember Gilkey hit a home run, but some anonymous cubbie won it for them with a blast of his own. Neither made the playoffs that year, which was diappointing for the Cardinals and typical for the cubbies.
To be honest, I was expecting to like wrigley and its surroundings. Again to be honest, it was the worst place I've ever been to in a major or minor league stadium.

BUSCH STADIUM MEMORIES PART X

Okay, you're right. It's Yosemite Park instead of Busch Stadium, But back in the day, Big Mac coulda hit it outta here, too.

As much as I dislike or have a distaste for him now, back then I liked him a ton. I welcomed him to St. Louis his first game in town He looked at me funny when I said "I'd like to be one of the first to welcome you to St. Louis." What a dumb thing to say. Alex Wellmaker and Clint Turner were with me hawking autographs down the first base line. Alex simply said, "Mark McGwire," as his grin was that of a kid in wonder. Turner's equally syrupy line was, "Sir, I'd like your autograph on this ball." I don't know where Michael Hicks, Derek Harlan, and Sam Hicks were at the time. Maybe trying to get on TV. Gould interviewed Derek, Sam, and me. Sam had the best response saying, " it looks like he's hitting a golf ball as far as it goes and as easy as he swings."
We missed his first Cardinal homer though. We'd watched him bat once and then walked up the street to watch the Rams pre-season football game. We came back in the seventh or eight inning and caught one more uneventful at bat of McGwire's before heading back home. With our autographs.

September 8, 1998, would be the date that Roger Maris' home run record would fall. And Derek and I would be there. We didn't have tickets like the day before when Scott, Courtney, Caroline and I celebrated my 50th birthday watching Big Mac tie the record. But we weren't worried. We had Derek's coaching passes.

We arrived early and as soon as the gates were opened, we presented the pass and were told rather gruffly,"these aren't any good for today." We were crushed. We had been so excited all day, and then turned away.

We hit the streets. With almost no money nor hope for tickets. Near where the Gussie Busch statue is a guy approached and asked if we needed tickets. He led us through the players entrance. In fact we walked in next to Ozzie Smith and his buds, so we weren't noticed too much by anybody.

Then we had to pay up. We had agreed on a price of , I believe $75 each. By the time I've gone through my rathole money hidden behind pictures in my wallet, and by the time Derek has ponied up all his wad, I think we spent $110 total. That was fine with the guy who just wanted to get away from us.

There we were with no money, no ticket, no seat. But we were there. We sat by Coach Law for awhile. He offered us some money, but it was more adventuresome to go it alone. Amy, an usher I knew got us to stand about 30 rows behind home plate for the historic blast. The way the ball hooked and all the people standing in front of me, I couldn't see where it landed. Derek and 55,000 or so others told me. It was gone. Not out of Yosemite. Just barely out of Busch. And we were there.

My family and I also witnessed homers 69 and 70 the last day of the season. Electric! And it lasted all of what two seasons? Seventy-three's the number now. And that should last. Even with Crawford boxes.

BUSCH STADIUM MEMORIES PART IX

The warning track at Busch stadium can tell many stories. This is not one of them. This is sand. From Costa Rico. What does this have to do with anything?
Derek Harlan ran a 26.2 marathon in 3 hours and 42 minutes. When I was jogging at age 40, and some people told me they saw me walking (rather than jogging) I once ran what I estimated to be 11 miles. My time 1 hour and 58 minutes. On the beach in Florida. All John Mabry had to do was run 90 feet today. We looked similar in our athleticism. Except he hit the ball. It was a good two year run for the Cardinals. Till post season when they choked. I'd say good luck to the Astros, but I don't think they'll need it against the white socks. And don't get me started on wild cards and home field advantage and rewarding the best umpires with working the World Series.

One of my best Busch memories was when the Cardinals clinched the NL title in 1987 with the mets in town watchimg from some of the luxury boxes. We sat down below where backman and I believe hernandez were sitting. Fans were giving them crap and waving a tee shirt give away that night. It was before the homer hankies and rally towels, but it didn't preceed the steeler yellow towel. Anyway(s) Danny Cox put on quite a performance that night and it was fun.
All backman did was point to his World Series ring to taunt the Cardinal fans. It was a great clicher for the Cardinals and the only one I remember going to.