GREENPEACENIK...TREE HUGGER

So what's the term for a non-hunter? One who has never fired a gun? One whose biggest kill was a small mouse caught in a trap in 1969?

Well, whatever you come up with, that's me. How about this? The biggest fish I've ever caught weighed less than one pound. And it was originally snagged by my wife in a Minnesota lake. Naturally, I took control, took the line and reeled in that 3/4 crappie. I shoulda had it mounted.

What an outdoorsman!

But once I broke my brother-in-law's ax chopping firewood. So if that doesn't prove I love the great outdoors and God's creation, then what does?

BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE

So now they're telling us Cleopatra might not have been beautiful. A coin featuring the Egyptian showed a sharp nose and chin and thin lips. A coin, also unearthed from olden times, showed a striking similarity to Marc Antony's countenance. So why do we assume the coinist(if you can't coin a coin word what can you coin?) was expert at his craft? I mean just because the Pyramids were pretty good.

But, on the other hand, if it weren't close to being accurate would Cleopatra allowed its distribution? Maybe it even flattered her. I read once that she only had one bath in her life. A second one was afforded her upon preparation of her body for burial. So I don't know if she was beautiful, but I know she was smelly.

On another note about beauty, my son on his blog site has been asking SI not to choose any more thin models for their cover. As he would say at Kamikazemaddogs.com "You see, that's proof that Sports Illustrated reads my blog." Of course, I'm talking about the choice of Beyonce for the SI cover shot. And while modern America may question Paula Abdul's claim that she's never been drunk or high, no one would question Beyonce's anorexia.

Beauty. "She's a beauty." "It's a beaut." Even this year again "bootyliscious." At least I bet Beyonce bathes often.

YOU'VE HEARD THESE WORDS BEFORE

"Pitchers and catchers report..." And it comes at just the right time. With bad weather in the Midwest, North, and Northeast.

It's past the time the groundhog saw his shadow. It's past the time of the Super Bowl. It's before NCAA March Madness. It's before the greatest holiday ever--Easter. I'm telling you, Spring Training comes at just the perfect time.

It won't be long until most of the civilized world will feel a hint of Spring in the air. A warm, sun-filled day too wet for outside yard play, but great for visions of what warm days and night will bring. People start to make secondary New Year's resolutions. This year they vow to cook out more, picnic more, be outside more often, even start getting in shape in the great outdoors.

As for those of us who live in Spring Training climates, even warmer than usual temps bring a smile to our faces. No more killer frosts and cold tile floors. No more heat pumps wondering what the heck is going on. But we're ready for Spring, too.

So what will the 2007 baseball season bring? I don't know, but it can't top the 2006 season. St. Louis Cardinals--World Champions!! Is that sweet or what?

YOU GOTTA LOVE IT

I mean a holiday just about love. Valentine's Day was not just made for florists and Hallmark and confectioners to make a bundle. It was made for LOVE.

It's a holiday that school children celebrate. Remember decorating your Valentine Sack, at least that's what we had, to hold all those cards you got from nearly every member of your class? I think they've progressed to Valentine decorated boxes now, but hey, times are better now.

It's a time for Valentine Dances and the pressure they put on junior and senior high youth. Whom shall I ask? Should I go with the first one that asks me? And invariably, what if no one asks me? How do I mask that disappointment?

It's a time for some serious dating and taking out. It's time for yes, flowers and cards and presents and don't ever forget how it is important to those married. I made the mistake after 2 years of marriage of ignoring the holiday. What was I thinking? Never again.

So while you have a love in your life, no matter what age, just celebrate it. If there's no current love, then either vow to have one next year. Or rely on that old excuse when you didn't get asked to that dance. Better yet, be your own Valentine and buy your own chocolates. You can skip the card if you like.

A HENDERSON

My brother's proudest possession is his motorcycle. And it is a beauty. In 1999, Henderson came out with a kind of anniversary brand motorcycle after having been in the business for many years. Along with Tecumseh and Indian and a cycle company you may have heard of--Harley-Davidson.

He had several Harleys in in his younger days, but the appeal of the rare Henderson, intrigued him.

SHAVING

My Dad used a shaving mug and brush to lather. No straight razor though.

For me there's nothing like shaving oil. Not cream or soap, Shave Secret just gives the smoothest, usually cleanest shave without cutting that I've found.

And I've tried them all. For awhile I was convinced that shaving cream was shaving cream and bought the cheapest Barbasol I could find. Then hot lather in a can came out in 1970 or so and I tried that before getting a rash that sent me to an electric razor.

But I've been an oil man for some time now. I've offered my wisdom to my son and some friends, but I don't think they like the oil. In fact the last time I saw my son he had a beard. He was Joseph in the Christmas musical he wrote and directed for his church, so I guess he's clean shaven again by now.

He, like a lot of his contemporaries usually doesn't shave on Saturdays, or any other times he can get away with leaving that five o'clock shadow that's popular now. Not me. I'm a two a-day shaver because I can't stand the itch. Or is it the plethora of little gray hairs that dominate the dark ones now?

I wonder if little shafer has anything to do with little shaver? And what's a little scutter anyway(s)?

THE FRATS CIRCA 1967 AND LATER

While I loved the old Belushi vehicle (I wonder why they call a movie a vehicle?) Animal House, it is totally fiction or totally the truth. I don't know. Only one in our family has ever had any Greek experience. The rest of us were too busy or too not into it as the characters from Friends might say.

In college, my wife-to-be was into school (high school valedictorian) and work and trying to finagle a way to see her out-of-town husband- to- be.

As for me, I was going to school for one reason--a draft deferment. Oh, I probably would have gone to college anyway(s), but I'm not sure I would have stuck it out without the student deferment. I don't even remember where Greek Row was when I was in school. I knew only one frat guy well. One. So I wasn't much into that scene because I was trying to get together with that valedictorian I was talking about.

Our son roomed with a buddy who was rushed (or is it rushing?) and they would come to his dorm at 3 am and have him do stupid stuff. Once he had to do 50 push ups. Our son, sleep deprived even now as an adult, had no interest. At least not in that frat.

Our daughter was a sororiety gal. But hers was more in absentia or sine quo non or no writ of habeas corpus or something Latin in a Greek world. You see, she never rushed or stayed at the sor house; she's was just a member. She was a vice president in ASU's student government and active in her college major receiving numerous honors, so as a junior she was recruited to a sorority to help their image, I guess. I don't think she did much with them except buy me a golf shirt with the Greek letters indicating the sororiety.

So was Animal House realistic? You'll have to find out from some other family.

NOW, LET'S SEE...
It's awesome when we have no fear. When we know no limits or boundaries. When we think totally outside the box. Heck, there isn't even a box. And there never was or will be.
But somewhere along the way, we lose that freedom. We're told we can't do something. That it's too dangerous. But we don't believe it can happen to us. That stuff only happens to others.

I had a blonde haired boy and I have two blonde haired grandsons, so I hope the boy in the picture didn't try this hill. I figure it's a double exposure (do they still do that?) or a cut-and-paste. But I still like to think that somewhere, some boy, hopefully older, tried to make this ride. Hopefully he succeeded and had a great thrill. Hopefully, it opened doors and stretched his limits. Maybe it gave him confidence and a little cockiness.

I hope he didn't try it again. And I hope the boy didn't have blonde hair.