WHEN DO THE NEW SHOWS START ?

Back to school also used to mean that the ice cream truck, as we called it, wouldn't be coming around much longer. If he did, we'd miss it because of our using our Number two lead pencils sans complete erasers already. So the familiar sound of the bell would be drowned out by the voice of the teacher or the schoolyard cacaphony of kids at play. We never called him the Good Humor Man. I still don't know if that's a brand or a nickname for the bringer of goodies, but I kinda like it.

But one thing I liked about Fall was the new tv season. The biggest TV Guide of the year would announce the schedules of the three networks and give a little description of each show. I'd examine that schedule closely to see that no two shows I liked were in conflict with one another. Remember, this was before VCRs and Tivo. So I didn't want to have to choose between The Mod Squad and The Patty Duke Show. Back then they never seemed to pit two powerhouse shows against each other. It was like ABC would give in to NBC for Wednesday night at 8:00, but NBC would pad their ratings on Thursday night at 7:00.

And no station would dare to put The Outer Limits opposite of The Twilight Zone. Likewise, Saturday night was Gunsmoke and Sunday night The Wonderful World of Disney. Fledgling ABC concentrated more on newer venues such as Room 222. One of their all-time biggest hits premiering around 1970 was Monday Night Football.

But now, when I have 100 channels or so, most nights I find myself channel surfing to find something, anything to entertain me or keep me from doing anything worthwhile trying to recover from a tough day of retirement. I usually find a ballgame to watch while my wife reads.

But I still miss the Good Humor Man (yeah, I like the sound of that), the new tv season--when does Friday Night Lights and 24 start? and that big old TV Guide.

MOST DECORATED

Former movie star Audie Murphy is hardly ever mentioned without adding "the most decorated soldier in World War II". Quite an honor. Quite a soldier. I even liked him as a actor. Clean cut, good guy, good if not great movies. What else I liked about him was his attitude and his demeanor in his personal life. Also, I never heard him complain about his President or his country.

I have no idea, and I didn't Google to find out the most decorated soldier in Korea or Viet Nam. Afghanistan or Iraq. But I think it would be interesting. Also, I would like to see the most decorated female soldiers in each war. I know, Korea and Viet Nam were both "conflicts" and I don't know what Afghanistan and Iraq are. But it's a sign of our society when we know the MVP of Super Bowls and the World Series, but know few heroes' names from our country's wars.

At least when soldiers reurn from our current skirmishes (boy, I don't like that word) from our current wars, they get recognized and seemingly appreciation. Unfortunately that was not the case with returning Viet Nam vets. I've known more than one who was spat upon and hounded with jeers upon their return.

Decorated or not, to me they are heroic. There was a bumper sticker in the 80's stating "If you can read this, thank a teacher". I might add "if you can breathe freely, thank a vet." Even if the vet is not an Audie Murphy.

NFL 2007

It all begins tonight. After allowing college football to get started last weekend, the big boys strap 'em on for real. I wish I could be more excited about it.

I mean I'm in a great fantasy league. The Borrowing Owls will try again to make the playoffs, but in recent years they've fallen on hard times. In a league poll fashioned by our league commissioner, my team didn't even make the list of who the projected league winner would be. As a result, I didn't vote. Showed him, huh?

And that's only part of my quasi-apathy. Mt team, the Rams, seem only middle of the pack to me. Some superstars, but for some reason the Rams can't tackle very well. Another thing that irks me is their special teams play. Also, they now play ball control, and that's not too exciting to me either. I see no better than a 9-7 season and early exit in the playoffs. I'm being optimistic here, too.

My hometown team, the Cardinals, get their usual over-hype. But what can you expect from a paper whose sports editor is a Cub fan? I mean what would he know about winning teams and programs? So before the season starts, I'm tired of new coach Wiz and the boys from Glendale.

Mike Vick, et. al. Well, yes, the NFL has its share of thugs, and maybe that's part of the problem, too. I just need to watch some more of those United Way commercials featuring the players.

I just need to remember the smells around the stadium of tailgating going on. I just need to remember the introductions of players and cheerleaders and fireworks and smoke and loud music. Hey, I'm getting ready. I just need to remember the hit of shoulder pads against one another. A linebacker taking on a wide receiver and intercepting a pass. The face painting, not just an emblem or logo--I mean the whole face and the Ram fans who wear watermelons on their heads. Oh, this is getting better. Kurt Warner trying to help a Hollywood qb that has his old job. Rev Isaac Bruce going across the middle as the crowd chants BRUUUUCE after a first down. A perfectly tossed spiral from Bulger to Holt.

Ok, I'm ready now. Plus, how cool is it to have a Quinn and a Ted Ginn in the same league? Yup. I'm ready for some football. Go Rams!!

FAT WITH SUMMER

Back to school. Those three words used to be tantamount to students and parents. The kids didn't want to go. The parents couldn't wait. Now the school systems can't wait.

School starting before Labor Day has always been distasteful to me. So has year round school, though I taught year round for 20 years. Well, at least until noon in Summer months.

So why negativity about school year schedules? There's just so much that young kids and young adults learn when they're not in the school house. Especially in the Summer. And here's the list:

1. earning their first money

2. freedom to enjoy

3. getting a taste of the real world outside of classroom walls

4. letting their body function on their timetable (younger ones don't generally get going at 8:15 when most schools start, and they don't wind down until much later during the teen years)

5. pursuing an avocation

6. developing friendships (and avoiding those they tire of, simply because they see them day after day)

7. traveling, whether long distance or short

8. being outside

9. visiting relatives

10. making memories

By no means exhaustive, this list doesn't even mention important things like reading the Bible, having fun, getting a tan, learning or practicing swimming, getting in shape, running errands for the parents. But see what I mean?

And if you haven't figured it out, I want school to end at Memorial Day, too. With no make-ups for snow days. They're penalty enough.

PART BAT, PART CATHOLIC

At least that's what our last entertainer on the cruise ship said. He was former Olympic Gold Medalist (twice, in '88 and '92) Lance Ringnald.

At age 37, he came out onto the stage to the old Beatles tune "When I'm 64". He was doing gymnastics on a walker. I'm not sure how funny that was to those who had to use walkers, and there were some on our ship. But he wasn't disrespectful at all, so I think they warmed to him later.

What magnificent shape he was in. My friend Ron wondered how much longer he could hold that physique. He also wondered how athletic and talented current gymnasts are, if Lance could no longer compete with them.

Two satin looking curtains were what he used to perform countless iron crosses. He climbed to the top of the curtains, hung upside down (that's when his joke about being 1/2 Catholic, 1/2 bat came from. He performed a lot of other feats of stamina and strength and put on another great show for Royal Caribbean.

I'm not sure what I'll do for entertainment tonight since there are no more on board activities. I guess I could take a sweltering walk, see a lousy movie, eat a 1,555 calorie meal, or go shopping. I'll probably settle for the Diamondbacks, while waiting for my Cardinals to come to town this weekend. But until then, I'll miss the great Northeast and cruise ship entertainment.

"YOU GOTTA LOVE 'EM; WELL, SOMETIMES"

You know me by now. You know I love kids. Of all ages. But...

On our recent travels, I was wondering what the next generation is going to be like. Man, we saw some bad kids. And bad parents.

On the ship they have a heckuva deal. Unlimited soda if you pay a one time fee. And the kids were stocking up. Of course, there was more than adequate sugar on the buffet line, chocolate buffet, midnight buffet, self-serve ice cream and yogurt machine, etc, etc. And the kids were stocking up.

They had a couple of pools, a climbing rock, and an arcade. They were all used, especially the arcade. Even on the brightest, sunniest, yet pleasantly cool days, sounds of the arcade could be annoyingly heard as ou walked near. A glance would reveal several kids sitting on top of the foosball table. Just talking.

Another sport they had, unsanctioned, but nonetheless practiced was hall running. And cruise ship halls are long but not wide. Also, it didn't matter if it was early morning or late at night. Just run loudly.

On the plane home we were sandwiched between three rows or more of bratty kids. Running in the aisles was also practiced and accepted on this Southwest flight. For at least 30 minutes, the 3 year-old in front of me ran, walked, climbed, crawled all over the plane while her inattentive father read a magazine, never once even turning around to see where she might be. Finally a flight attendant asked if he would help out and keep her in her seat. That worked. For about 15 minutes. Even when the plane had landed and was taxiing, she was out of her seat and walking around the plane. While three others squalled, apparently in unison, apparently wanting to enjoy the same freedom.

Not once the whole trip, and I haven't even addressed the worst kid I saw on a bus excursion, did I see a parent try to discipline other than to say,"You need to sit down." When that didn't work, it was like, "I tried, but what are you going to do?"

I don't know exactly when the turn around began and parents lost control. Not that we ever had control, but a semblance of making them behave. Maybe about the time it was deemed spanking was child abuse.