NAME THAT PICTURE

I love art. I don't understand much about it. I can't produce any. But with my vivid imagination, I can name art and interpret the artist's meaning. At least to my satisfaction.

So in today's entry, I'll give you 3 possible titles and interpretations. You pick the right one: that is, the one I like the best. At least that's your challenge, and in a couple of days, I'll reveal the right answer. The right answer being the one I thought of first.

1. The Separation. She's distressed because of the split with her lover. He was her one and only. It was his fault, not hers.

2. Two Faced Woman. She shows one side to the world, but talks badly about those in her world to others. She has no problem with being like this and sleeps soundly with no regrets.

3. Exhaustion. She's plum tuckered. She fell asleep while nursing and the baby's head has rolled between her breasts. This is her last moment before being awakened by the child.

So there you have it. Pick one and I'll get back to you.

BROWS SAY A LOT

Remember Everett Dirkson from Illinois? Man, he had some eyebrows. I know he never trimmed them for some reason. Maybe other guys are like that, too. Maybe a lot of them, cause my barbers always asked if they want me to have them trim mine. "Sure," is always my reply. I'm afraid I might poke my wife with one of those wild antennae if I don't.

Some women have thick dark brows. Even some blondes. I've seen expressive womenly brows, but not too many.

And lately I've noticed some young women who just paint theirs on. No hair at all. Just eyebrow make-up. Some of them arch them real high, too. I'm waiting to see a monobrow. Now that would be cool. A gal with one continuous, unbroken brow.

I read somewhere that you can't put dye on your eyebrows. Or at least you shouldn't. I know there's dye for beards, mustaches, and even sideburns, but the article didn't say why you couldn't dye your brows. So what's the difference between dye and make-up?

I've known younger guys to use mascara to fill in gaps in beards and sideburns. But I'd think they'd have to avoid sweat and rain for fear of exposure.

Brow beat is a neat expression, too. I don't think I grasp the image any more than I do low brow. But maybe that's just because I'm such a high brow. Which is what I thought they were called when I was a child.

MY HIGH SCHOOL SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS WITH RUTH HAGEY--MTV HIGH

I'm seated in the back seat on the left side. Ok, not really.

But if you look closely, you'll find someone that looks an awfully lot like someone you know. There are about half a dozen kids in this picture that resemble somebody I know.

It's an exercise that drives my wife crazy. I'll say, "There's Steve Morris." Steve's an MTV friend of mine. He wasn't near South America, but I saw a guy on our ship that was his double. Admittedly sometimes my lookalikes are a stretch, but there's something about a lot of us that is common in our appearance, demeanor, expressions, voice, or actions.

The reason it drives my wife crazy is twofold: I do it all the time, and she doesn't see the similarities. So for purposes of identification, in the photo are Buff Thompson, Lydia Snider, Lucy Bradshaw, Linda Spurgeon, Wes Williams, David Somers, Cassie Hungate, Jeanne Howie, and Twiggy.

If you don't see them, it doesn't mean my theory is wrong. I mean I'm not saying that we all sprung from 12 tribes. Or am I?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAMP

Muhammed Ali turns 65 today. It doesn't seem possible. It also doesn't seem possible that he's silenced by a terrible disease. Are you kidding me? The most vocal, most boistrous athlete of all time (well at least for boxers) and he can barely communicate now. Unfair.

But so was our treatment of him. He didn't like Viet Nam (who did?) and conscientiously objected. There were plenty of others who did the same. And they weren't ministers. And they weren't world champions. And they didn't go to jail for it either.

Oh, it would have been easier for him to join the service, get a sack job, probably not see any action in Nam, but even so there were some cushy jobs to be had there, too. Then return to the States, resume his boxing career and be a hero.

But that wasn't Ali. He had a big mouth, no doubt. But he had a bigger stage, too. The world, for one. And his god.

He refused to take the easy way out. Same as in the ring. His rope-a-dope strategy worked to his advantage in the ring, yet quite possibly accelerated his Parkinson's. He didn't endear himself to a lot of people by all his bragging and taunting. But that cat could box. "Float like a butterfly; sting like a bee." He did, in his prime. His shuffle was classic.

Part Atticus Finch, part Vincent VanGogh, Cassius Clay also was part Jake LaMott. Muhammed, you were something else. Enjoy the day.

THE AUCTION

It's that time of year. The Barrett- Jackson Car auction in Scottsdale. Besides tying up the traffic, actually it's nearly always tied up here anymore, adding to the traffic, it provides a great outlet for people to spend. While I doubt that these two guys on the right will find their Car 54 there (Hey they had enough trouble finding it in the series), there should be plenty for everyone.

Of course if you're not fortunate to live here, you can always catch a lot of it on the Speed Channel. With three bowl games, including the National Championship, the Auction(s)--actually there's another one just a couple of miles down the 101 that's huge, too: it's called the Russo- Steele and features more muscle cars. With the FBR or Phoenix Open Golf Tournament coming up in two weeks, this is a sportsman's paradise. And I would never overlook The Suns, the 2007 NBA Champs, well, at least I hope so.

Next month features Spring Training for 10 teams or so and the Cubs along with the Safeway LPGA Championhip. While it's been a couple of years since I went to Spring Training, I look forward to the Ladies playing at beautiful Superstition Mountain.

If you're not into spectator sports, there are 175 golf courses or so. I also didn't mention hockey, but the Coyotes are here. I also didn't mention casinos, but there are a few of those, too on Indian Reservation lands.

I'm probably missing something else, but, hey I'm not the Chamber of commerce you know. But I am ready for some of their weather.

MCCULLOUGH
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I once took a cruise and met Pulitzer Prize winner author David McCullough. He gave two lectures that were great. He won me over.

Since then, for some reason when I go on a cruise, I read McCullough. It did take me parts of three cruises to finish Truman, but it was worth it. On our most recent cruise I also read Mornings on Horseback and The Great Bridge, the Brooklyn Bridge, of course.

I eagerly dug into the TR book, but only read about the bridge because that was the only other McCullough book in the ship's library that I hadn't read. And it didn't disappoint. An amazing story about its construction, but it's also a great historical look at Boss Tweed, St. Louis' Eads Bridge, and a whole lot more American history. It, too, is a long book, but worth the read.

You'll learn a ton when you read McCullough. Just don't wait until you cruise to dig in.

THE PERFECT CRUNCH

When I frequented the movies back in the day when popcorn cost a quarter, I loved to watch the reaction. You know what I mean. At just the right moment. At just the point when the buyer took a bite and got a popcorn hull stuck in his teeth.

Because, as you know, you've got to get it out. Right then. And if he's with a date, how cool can he be if he's digging a finger in his mouth trying to dislodge the hull? All the squishing, which is equally difficult to do without drawing attention, is not going to hack it. I've even had them lodged there where brushing and flossing can't bring relief. Then, cruelly, the next morning I've awakened to the hull being on the tip of my tongue.

So determined to free the hull, I've even bled and not been able to remove it. Popcorn hulls are a lot like my dogs of days gone by. They would come to me only when they wanted, and the hulls would come out only when they tired of being there.

With that said, I'm going to have a little Orville Redenbacker this afternoon as I watch the NFL playoffs. And if New England beats San Diego, I may just try to get several popcorn hulls in my gums. The pain couldn't be any worse.