HURRAY FOR THE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE

Next year should really be special--11/11/11. To the veterans, I say thank you for your service to our country. Today is your day. A day many will pause and remember. A day of parades and prayers and memorials.

I've been to Gettysburg. I've walked the cemetery at Normandy. I seen more military museums than I can recall off hand. I've seen World War II planes at airshows and museums from Washington, DC, to Oregon, to New Orleans, to Illinois. I've seen war memorabilia and relics overseas as well.

But I can not imagine what war must have been like. No one who hasn't been there can. The ones left behind. The new friends made and also left behind.

Some returning vets can never get over their war experiences. Some can't because of flashbacks and wicked, vivid dreams. Some re-live every battle. Some adjust. Some come home changed. Some for the better. Some not.

But we're a stronger nation for their sacrifice. For their patriotism. For their devotion.

Thank you seems inadequate, soldiers. Applause, too. But I honor you today and always for doing your duty, for answering the call to arms.

I WONDER IF PSALM 23

is still in any public school textbook. Not really. I know it's not. But it used to be. It should be.

But those who legislate made it so spiritual things couldn't be discussed, couldn't be taught. But sex education could be. And a whole lot of other stuff.

But, if for no other reason than to teach poetic terms, the most famous of the psalms should be taught. Is there a better example of a metaphor? "The Lord is my shepherd." Not a simile: The Lord is like my shepherd."

"He leadeth me beside still water." Now, it could get a little unnerving here to the church and state people. Because Jesus is the living water, I would teach. Examples from scripture including the woman at the well. All who come to Him will never thirst in a spiritual sense. Ok, enough preaching. Back to the psalm.

The reason shepherds lead sheep to still water is that they fear moving or living water. They won't drink from it. In Israel, there's a lot of still water. Well, maybe not a lot, but enough for a good shepherd to find and lead them there. A good shepherd is one who cares for his flock and he would want them watered and without fear.

That's enough. Point well made. The psalm should still be in public school texts. We should still use the best examples to teach a concept. And if some spirituality seeped into the discussion, well, that's even better.

It sures beats denial and free condom distribution.

DO YOU REALLY THINK

that if you crossed your eyes when you were a kid that they might just stay that way? I don't think so either. Do you think if you made an ugly, ghastly face as a kid that your face might freeze like that? Me neither. Do you think if you did step on a crack that it just might break your mother's back?

Kids are told lots of stuff. Stuff as in what a good friend of mine used to say when he heard something unbelievable. "You lying stack of stuff," is what Mr. Will Taylor Lee would say in his once powerful booming Southern voice.

Do you think that "sticks and stones may break my bones/ but words will never hurt me"? Words do hurt. They last a lot longer than a broken bone.

There is such a thing as a self-fulfilling prophecy, too. If we felt as a kid that we wouldn't amount to much, then we probably filled the bill. Parents sometimes were the worst offenders:"Can't you do anything right?" Well, that's sure to inspire.

Parents of friends can be equally hurtful. I still remember my good friend Tommy and I playing in another friend's basement when we must have done something pretty terrible. I sure don't recall or cannot think of what might have warranted the mother of the friend who blurted out "You and Tommy will wind up in prison someday." I don't know about him: I just thought she was crazy. I don't remember being too affected by it, but at age 10 or so, I still remember telling my mother what had been said.

And I don't recall her, a proactive mother and grandmother not afraid of supporting her own, contacting the other mom. She must have thought her crazy, too.

We must have left that house that day after the prophecy; again, I don't recall. But I do remember going back and playing there again. And I do remember years later when her son was charged with selling cocaine.

So there you have it.

SO CHASTITY IS A MAN NOW

In a Design class I had in college, this is the chastity outfit I came up with. It was to be worn at Proms or any dances that lasted past midnight.

I especially liked the wings on each side, where the guy could rest his head slow dancing. You know how guys are when the song plays a little too long. Something to do with holding the girl closely and gently swaying and all.

I fooled around with a drool cup attachment, but thought it might be a little overkill. I especially liked the throat guard that I actually invented before it was used to save catchers in baseball the pain from a foul ball to the Adam's apple. A close examination will reveal some insect strips to keep away two kinds of bugs. Those from the genus lepidroptra and those from hominus.

The mask speaks for itself. One can still see through it, but there is no encouragement for any other kind of physical contact outside of a little peck. The bars were closer together around the mouth, a little wider at the forehead and upper cheek.

The aptly named chest protector, an idea from my Little League days, provided padding on the front side only with clasps on the back that were soldered together upon putting on the garment.

I hate to use a misnomer and call it a dress, and the picture does no justice to the waist and lower half wrapped in burlap but lined with silk. Wrapped is the operative word. After a study of Egyptian mummification, I was able to adapt the quadruple wrap without making the young woman look appreciably heavy, though it is healthier to have a pear shape.

Ankle socks or ankle hosiery could be used to cover the exposed 0ne and a quarter inch of leg. Shoes and purse matching the burlap wouldn't accessorize effectively, so I selected pumps with a velcro strap covering any hint of toes inside.

Now, if I could design all that, you would think I could figure out how they made Chastity Bono into a man named Chaz. But you got me.

JUST A FUR PIECE FROM HERE

I never understood a piece in that sense. Fur puzzles me, though. I mean the PETA people and other Animal Rights Orgs that get violent over someone wearing fur.

The same ones who object to fur wearers have no problem with leather. Many wear leather products themselves, but throw blood at those adorned in fur.

The vegans, too, I don't understand, but that's just because I love meat so much. I also don't understand those who don't like lemon pie, but they don't have much of a following; not even enough to have a name or abbreviation for themselves.

I suppose I do have more respect for those who won't eat anything with a face. Maybe because I'm a little like that. I won't eat any part of a face, though I'm really not against tongue. And I have eaten brains, though it's been a long time. Head cheese? Not that I know of. I do like cheekburgers. Oh yeah, that's cheeseburgers.

Maybe I'm a little perverse about all this is I grew into young adulthood in the polyester generation. A friend of mine used to joke, "Think of how many polyesters died to make that sport coat." So I guess they were little guys, like polliwogs.

Anyhow, since I dislike the cold so much, I'd say if you think fur makes you warmer than leather, then go for it (I was tempted to write "go fur it," but with the cheekburger comment already penned or typed, I thought better.) In fact for the sake of warmth, wear leather and fur. But you don't have to show the face as the Native American is.