AS I LIKE IT

"When the dog bites, when the bee stings..." Naugh. Those were Julie Andrews' favorite things. And I think she made some dumb choices for her favorite things. "Wouldn't it be Loverly?" also had some questionable choices. "An enormous chair"? C'mon. Surely you can come up with something else that might be loverly. What is it with chairs in songs anyway? Neil Diamond's lyric "and no one heard/not even the chair", has to be the worst in any song he penned.

But this entry is supposed to be about things I like. Like....

Summer. Even in Arizona. Right now (ok, it's Spring, but that season always brings to mind rain, and though I'd love to have some now where I live, it still has bad connotations to me--no Spring showers would not be on my list) is beautiful. And if you don't think the desert is beautiful now, then you haven't seen it. With all things in bloom, color is abundant. It's so pretty that I have a hard time concentrating on my golf game. Big surprise, since I can only conjure up enough concentration on one in every three to five shots anyway, but the surrounding beauty of God's creation takes my eyes off the golf focus.

Kids and grandkids. Ours, that is. I never get to see enough of them, but I love talking to them and sharing in their lives. I love to hear stories of what they've said or done. I love to hear their voices. And do things for them. Other kids and grandkids have their moments, and I'd never want to live in one of those communities or subdivisions for those 55 or older, but I don't need to be around them all that much anymore. As a former teacher, I used to think they kept me younger. Nope. I got old, even with them.

My wife. She's my bud. We travel, talk, golf, hang out, spend quality and unquality time together. Unquality time is when I watch ballgames she doesn't care about but stays in the same room with me, or attends the games (her draw is the food). My unquality time is when I go shopping with her, certainly not always, but I have been through many departments' shoes and even to a linen store or two. Happy Mother's Day, Favorite Thing. You're a great Mom to the kids and me.

And no list of my favorite things would be complete without mentioning my faith. And, it's supposed to be the most important in my life according to scripture. And I think it is. But it's hard when I still live in the world with people I love. As one who loves life, I sometimes struggle with priorities. Yet when I think of what Jesus did for me, how dependent upon God I am, and how the Holy Spirit guides me in my daily walk, maybe I am prioritized.

I know one thing. My list is a lot better than Julie's or My Fair Lady's, or Neil's.

LOST

As lost as the Arizona Football Cardinals...

As Jason Castro's lyrics (and talent)...

As the plots of the tv series by the same name...

As an errant golf ball landing left or right or wet...

As a great nighttime dream forgotten at morn...

As that well-spent or mis-spent youth...

As even that chewy tootsie roll that promised...

As Mapquest and Navigator lied...

As two political parties in America who could only offer Clinton, Obama, or McCain to the voters. If I were the Republican strategists, I'd keep the campaign slogan simple: "Vote McCain: Who Else?"

TAKE A LOAD OFF

It was pointed out in our men's bible study that God was seated on the throne in the Isaiah throne room experience. Smoke obstructed the view of God from Isaiah. For no one can see God and live. The idea that God, ruler of the universe, could rule from a sitting position, sort of kicked back, relaxed, maybe with His shoes off is really a neat image.

And we don't do that enough anymore. Sit back, I mean. Front porches have diminished. Rocking chairs, front porch swings, or gliders have faded. Sitting with neighbors just chewing the fat is from a bygone era. I hardly know my neighbors except for friends across the street. In fact, I don't even know the first and last names of any neighbor less than 5 houses away on either side. And I've been in the same house for 5 years, same neighborhood for 7.

I'll go one more step and then quit. In our guard-gated community of 252 houses, I know only five couples by their first and last names. Five. That's it. And we get out. At least to walk the 2 miles, nearly daily.

One couple, across the fairway from us, has an outside tv hooked up under their back covered porch. I see the blue shine from it, and they spend a lot of outside covered porch time, but I don't know them. I guess I could start with them. It's a short walk. I'd ring the doorbell, introduce myself, and sit with them.

Naugh. They probably wouldn't be able to hear the doorbell with the volume on the tv. Especially at commercial time.

ONLY AT THE DERBY



Could a grown, and yes, he's grown man get away with this. Oh, I suppose there are other places such as New Orleans, San Francisco, Greenwich Village. Maybe Hope, Arkansas. But not Tennessee. They knew how to vote in the 2000 Presidential election.



Can you imagine being related to this guy. Is the woman pictured in pink with him? She's a distance, I can't say safe, away from him and smiling, so I'd say not. But the guy behind him holding the beer is smiling, too. Not the one in the sweater vest and holding a beer, so he's probably with him.

I've been to all the places I mentioned except for Hope. I have been to Piggot, AK, though, so that should count. But I've never been to The Derby. This guy is the only thing sadder than Eight Belles. I may not even watch on tv next year.

APRIL IS NOT THE CRUELEST MONTH

Not in Arizona. The poet erred. If I had to pick one month to visit AZ, it would be in April.

Even now, our weather is superior. No rain. No chance. Not until late June at the earliest. And we are in our 73rd straight day of no precipitation. Now, don't get me wrong; it's not all good news. We badly need rain. I would easily trade a day or days of golf for a good gully washer. But it ain't gonna happen.

So what do we do? Anything you want outside. There simply are no cancellations. No change of plans. Because we know. We can plan on temps in the 60's for lows, 80's or 90's for highs. But as far as the scene in the picture in Phoenix. Well, that was earlier in the year. We also know what awaits us.

That's scary. Thirty-one days last Summer of temperatures at least 110. Even with 1% humidity, that's hot. It may not be as bad as 98 degrees with 98% humidity, but it's close. And you know there's no relief.

But until that weather hits, we're in the driver's seat. Golf pries are so cheap that we played The Phoenician Golf Course yesterday and we have a tee time there for Thursday, too. It's a great time right now. In only a few short weeks, AZ will be a great place to avoid. Unless you truly, truly hate rain.

WHICH IS IT?

The needle in the haystack, I mean. Is the proverbial needle a pine needle or a sewing needle? I never knew. And wouldn't the pine needle be even harder to find?

I wonder why I wonder why things are what they are? Like trying to shake your head no and say yes. It's hard to do. Like putting on your left shoe first when normally the right one goes on first. Again, it's not all that easy.

And if you were able to conquer the other tasks pretty easily, then try putting your leg into the left pant before your right. See if you won't have to lean on something to do that. Or next time when you back your car out in reverse, look over your left shoulder instead of your right. On second thought, don't try that one. It might be costly.

Or try what our youngest grandson wanted me to try when he was 3 and I was driving down the road. "Close your eyes, GDaddy," he suggested. His older brother, age 5, replied, "If you do, you will be the worst grandfather that ever lived." I deferred to the older one.

One more note on the needles. According to the title of one of my favorite poetry books, Some Haystacks Don't Even Have Any Needles.