DOES YOUR HUSBAND PLAY?

This entry is not an attempt to undermine Scott's movie blog. But it is a good description of my golf game.

When a foresome (that's the spelling of the term I coined which needs some explanation.) A foursome is 4 golfers paired together for a round of golf. A foresome is 4 golfers whose limited success striking the golf ball squarely occasionally results in at least one of them yelling, "Fore," to warn others in the vicinity of a golf shot gone astray.

So, when a foresome of men are on the putting green and one of them hits a putt noticeably short of the hole, it's common for another member of the foresome to say, "Nice shot, Alice." "Hit it, Alice," is also spoken generally by the one who left his putt well short of the hole. "Does your husband play (golf)," is another verbal retort directed at the short putting golfer.

Having struggled for some time with my golf game, I learned yesterday from an old golf buddy, Virgil DeBoer who is visiting Scottsdale for two months, of course, January and February--I never hear from him in August and September, that I have not been taking the club back far enough in my backswing. He noticed this flaw from the many rounds we've played together since 1980 or so. My other Mt. Vernon buddy, Allen Karch noticed it, too, but being the nice guy he is, didn't mention it. Kinda like having the old spinach in your teeth. Do I tell him or not?

My Scottsdale buddies didn't tell me I was Chicken Littling it because they want to beat me. Also, they aren't as familiar with my swing.

My wife tried to give me some constructive criticism, and I listened, always thinking there's just one thing wrong with my swing and when I get it fine tuned, watch out! It's a common misconception.

So having received my instruction from Virgil, I proceeded to shoot two over par for the last 5 holes, three of them are very tough, while recording my first birdie of 2006. On one of the hardest holes in the valley. A 205 yard par three over a lake with sandtraps on the front, side, and back. The green is elevated and sloped. The wind is usually in your face. So I took my three-wood back as far as I could, well at least farther than I was and knocked it about seven feet short of the pin and sunk my putt.

Alice doesn't live here anymore.

ONAMASTICS

The study of names has held my interest for some time. And that's what onamastics is.

In a study conducted back in the 80's, a group of well qualified, trained writing teachers were given a set of fifth grade essays to evaluate according to content, grammar, and style. What they didn't know was the set of essays they received had been previously graded by another set of teachers and had been evaluated as C papers. Nothing special, just ordinary fifth grade essays, rated as average.

All that had been added to the papers the group received was first names. Sure enough, the papers came back with grades from A to E. Even after allowing for different grading styles, it was determined that the papers with the cute names such as Stacey and Justin got the A's and B's. The papers with the names James and Charles still got the C's. And fifth grade Edgar and Herman got the D's and even E's.

It's been revealed that restaurants beginning with C is the most popular. The names Marilyn Monroe, rather than Norma Jean Baker, and John Wayne, rather than Francis, well I've forgotten his last name, were much preferred stage names. Mickey Mantle and Ronald Reagan were two other names that onamastic experts have said made them more popular.

Sports stars are filled with colorful, good sounding names such as Santana Moss, Torry Holt, Hines Ward. Howard Cosell could make Oakland Alameda County Coliseum dance off his tongue.

Onamastics is not just a study of connotative good sounding names either as alluded to in the writing sample. But I don't know about names that are duplicated like Eddie Edwards, Marky Mark, Duane Duane, Haris Harris.

But you know names are important when God gave Adam the task of naming the animals. So when selecting a name for a child, a pet, or even a 911 street name, choose wisely.

SNEAKERS

At least that's what we called them in the day. Maybe gym shoes.

I'm not sure what they call them now, but these athletic shoes worn by Shawn Marion (what a talent and 9th in the All-Star Voting at power forward) got me thinking about kicks or kickers as we sometimes called them, too.

I am the owner of two pairs. I wear them only sporadically because they call for socks. Coming from an age of loafers or boat shoes (Sperrys) without socks, I never outgrew that style. For some reason, I've been blessed (?) with very warm hands and feet. So socks just add to my warm. Coach Law is the only other human who had such a diversion to socks that I know of. Incidentally, we both wear golf sandals.

But back to my two pairs of tenny runners ( a term I never cared for). They're both Tommy Hilfiger--red/blue and white and orange/blue and white. I've had the first pair for about nine years and the second pair for about eight. They've seen lots of miles including jogging and walking. They've seen travel and overseas times, too. But except for an occasional airing outside and a little breakdown of the sole that comes up over the toe on one pair, they're still serviceable and I see no reason for change. Too much information? Ok.

Why I go into so much detail about my zapatos is that I read an article about the shoes of the Phoenix Suns. Some players get brand spanking new shoes after every game. Every single game. And those babies are not cheap by any means. Others change after 3 or 5 games. One player, Nash, I think about every 15 games. Only one Sun interviewed, Jimmy Jackson, I believe, got almost a season out of them.

Jack Buck often talked about affluence in our society when cubbie fans threw back a home run hit by the opposing team. He much preferred their keeping the ball and playing with it in the 'hood. He reflected on the days of his youth when baseballs, worn and blackened by grass stain, were held together with black tape. I share those times, too.

I looked at some Nikes the other day. But that's all I did. They looked too pinchy to me. Now where the heck's that black tape?

AND THE WINNER IS...

To continue my Super Bowl preview/review/predictions, I look at three AFC teams today. Two could win it all. In fact I think one of the two will.

Yesterday, I dismissed all NFC teams except Seattle. There's really no use to talk about them because they will be fodder by Super Bowl Sunday. I examined the Steelers, Bengals, and Massachuetts patsies and gave the first and last (in many ways) a chance to reach the big game.

That leaves the jacksonville jaguars, how I don't know, but somehow they made the playoffs with a variety of unknowns. Fitting though, because that's how they came into the league instead of the St. Louis Stallions. I doubt that even MVRL championship owner could name more than 5 players and their coach. That's how anonymous they are. And, with that, loyal reader(s), I move on.

I really like the Broncos. I'm wondering when the rest of the league will wise up and realize that even cats like Avion, or is it Evian Cason can run like the dickens when the O Line opens up the holes. With the exception of trading for Marshall Faulk, the single best move the Rams made was to trade up and draft Orlando Pace at number one. Shanahan knows this and has an unbelievable offensive line that controls the line of scrimmage. But I can't see them winning with Jake at the helm. He's good. A lot better than people thought, and like so many others excels when given time. But I just don't see them in the big game.

That leaves us with the Horseshoe. And there's the Super Bowl 40 champion. No big upset, no big surprise. If they needed a rallying cause, they unfortunately got it with Coach Dungy's loss of his son. Without a doubt, the coach would trade the championship for one more time with his son. But he's had enough loss for the year, for a lifetime, and the Colts will continue to dominate on both sides of the ball.

So there you have it--there's really no reason to watch hours of games, scour the newspapers and web sites. There'll be a huge celebration in Indy, upset wet fans in C-attle, and back to the drawing boards for all the rest.

Bring on March Madness and the baseball season before the Phoenix Suns are crowned NBA Champions in late May or early June. (Wow--two predicted champs in one blog!)

TAMPA BAY TO WIN SUPER BOWL

Although Brian Griese was my free agent choice this season, I'm just kiddding about the Bucs. In fact, I can't see any NFC team going anywhere with the exception of the CHawks. I quickly got on their bandwagon, actually Scott probably started it early this season, but what I'm surprised about is what took them so long. They are solid.

Yet I think the AFC has four or maybe five teams that I think could win it all. If it were baseball, I'd take the Steelers. They have the momentum, but in an emotional game like football, I'm not sure that plays out that well. Everybody has emotion at playoff time. Well, except the Rams in last season's debacle against the Falcons.

The Bengals are a year a way from going deep in the playoffs. And they really need to harness johnson--he's becoming a TO and moss combined.( I had to capitalize TO or it would have looked like to, and as loyal blog readers know, I don't capitalize names or teams that I disrespect. I also go with their cutsie nicknames to dis them as well.)

As far as the patsies ( note both cutsie name and lower case), they are good and they remind me of the dolphins of don shula. Not the '72 team. All of them. Shula was the head of the committee that evaluated NFL officials. Do you think they ever got a call go against them? Heck no. And who else gets away with more illegal chucking, holding, interfering with pass receivers than the squad from new england. What happened to the boston patriots anyhow? How can you claim to be the team of 13 states? What about the Western Cardinals? Taking a whole state's bad enough. The Phoenix Cardinals is an oxymoron. That would be cool. Anyway(s), the patsies could do it again, but I don't think so. I don't think I could stand seeing one more smile from their coach. And I don't think his face, solid as a rock, could take it either.

Tomorrow's blog will analyze the other Super Bowl candidates from the AFC.

WHEN COMES SUCH ANOTHER?

Even though the St. Louis Rams are undefeated for the year, I'm afraid I don't see another Super Bowl in the wings. Certainly I'm premature about this but from the various sources I read, it seems there are internal problems galore. Those are more difficult to straighten out than a poor product on the field or even a couple of bad drafts.

It appears that the Mike Martz era ends today. And that's too bad. Don't get me wrong: it's time for him to leave. I used to be a staunch supporter of him. Until the Carolina game when he went for the tie instead of the win. As I limped out of the ED, I told Scott that I was done with Martz. But that doesn't mean he isn't a great talent. Those offenses of his for the glory years were unbelievable. Will he be able to resurrect them for a different organization? Perhaps, however, like anything highly successful and innovative, it will be copied. But his template was the best. Even superior to the West Coast offense started by another St. Louis coach, Don Coryell.

So in a good, if not great close to Sunday Night Football on espn, the Rams showed some moxie and ended a forgettable season on a high note last night. Oh how I would have loved to hear just once more from pat summerall,"DDDDDDDDallas."

But what I'll miss more is the Mike Martz era.