AMISH BREAD

It's hot. A friend gives you a plastic baggie with some start up batter in it. For a few days it just sits there. Oh, maybe you have to shake it up a little. Then after another few days you add something to it. Then it gets all stirred up in a big bowl. It makes two loaves. And the remains make 4 more pouches that you share with friends or hoard for yourself and start the process all over again.

I know that sounds like a little kid telling someone how to make something. I didn't leave out much that I know, so I apologize for the nebulous description. What I left out was cinnamon and sugar, walnuts and raisins. At least that's how my wife made one loaf.

The point--it's delicious. And it stays fresh. Maybe it even gets more moist as the (few) days go by. We finished off our loaves this morning. I can't wait for the next batch.

If someone asks you if you'd like a start up for Amish bread, take it and make it. Or give me a call.

YOU TELL ME

what happened to Thanksgiving traditions.

I waited up till midnight waiting for the ball to drop to announce the start of another Thanksgiving. Nothing. I couldn't find it anywhere.

So Thanksgiving morning I searched under the cornucopia, inside and out, and there were no presents. It continued all day.

No cake with candles, no fireworks at night, no Thanksgiving carolers.

Oh there were parades on tv, but none of them featured the red, white and blue unless you count Miley Cyrus' outfit to go along with her lip sync.

No colored Thanksgiving eggs to dye and hide. One neighbor did put out a Thanksgiving flag, but that same neighbor with a couple of kids didn't send them out dressed up as pilgrims to Thanks give or treat.

Maybe next year with a better economy, with a new President, with change we can get back to normalcy. I need one more tree planted in my yard on Thanksgiving Day to make it feel like a true Thansgiving.

BE THANKFUL

Amid the rush and traffic, travel and preparations lies a terrific holiday that no one tries to offer substitutions--Thanksgiving. It is what it is; that is, a day to give thanks.

Thanks to the Creator of all things and Giver of provisions. And that's the Number 1 best thing about Thanksgiving. Traditionally, family and friends gather and pause to thank God for His bounty. Many take turns expressing what they are thankful about, and that's Number two on the list for best things about Thanksgiving.

Number three of course is the food. Whether you're a turkey lover, ham, or even steak eater, the food is always better at Thanksgiving, just because of the holiday. A little extra preparation is required. Grandma's chicken and dumplings, an aunt's homemade apple pie with caramel topped off with ice cream, an in-law's mashed potatoes with the peeling left on; well, the list goes on and on. Number 4 is the afternoon nap. Nothing says full belly like a short nap, maybe in front of the fire while watching the Cowboys or Lions.

Number five is leftovers. If you're fortunate enough to eat Thanksgiving dinner early enough, then for supper there are leftovers a plenty. Number 6 is the conversation. Oh, this may just be controversial. Aunt Ida maybe just a little too nosey, have a personality conflict with Aunt Susan and the edge to their voices may be conflicting. But it's a holiday; overlook it, and just enjoy that only on this day do you have to compromise them.

Number 7 is next day shopping. It's fun for the ladies, and most men don't have to go, so it's a day hunting, lounging, putting up Christmas decorations, or exercising off all those calories.

Number 8 is getting ready for Christmas. The reality sits in. It's getting closer. Preparations for gifting, giving, getting, and celebrating the birth of a King. Christmas music, caroling, hey "it's the most wonderful time of the year".

Numbers 9 and 10, I'll let you decide. No, I didn't run out; I just like open endedness. Besides, this entry is getting very long.

Ok, number nine, if you insist, is the down time for a three-day week; for some 2 and 1/2. The anticipation gets one through the rest of the month, just knowing that some time away from work is coming.

And number 10--you have a reason for weight gain. "With the holidays, you know..." New Year's resolutions are a good five to six weeks away most years, so you're free from calorie counting and daily weighing in for a short while.

So there you have it. Now you have 10 reasons why Thansgiving is so good and no reason not to have a great one. Enjoy the feast.

"WHAT DID HE SAY, WHAT DID HE SAY?"

In case you missed it, and I'm sure everyone in the country except my wife did, I added new vocabulary to the English language yesterday. Or, I repeated unknown language.

Simple things are not always so simple. As we arrived from a stop at the hardware store and another stop at the grocery, I unlatched my seat belt. As usual, I let it fly across my chest/belly/neck. As it flew across my girth, shotgun like, the metal fastener hit my left elbow with a force that left me yelling.

The pain! It's one thing to hit your funny bone. But this was a shot. The force behind it, paired with a perfect on-target hit really smarted, as we used to say.

"Put some ice on it," my wife advised. Actually that's a prescribed cure for many things in our household. Hey, at least she didn't say, "Put a sock in it!" But being manly, I declined as I ate supper, watched the news and started the Suns' game. Over a period of forty minutes or so.

At minute forty-one, I was icing. Two hours later the pain subsided. I haven't looked at it this morning, but I imagine it's blue. I hope not. I'd hate to have to explain.

All the warnings about air bags, passenger air bags, side air bags, objects being closer than they appear. But not one warning about the slingshot or catapult created by the release of a seat belt. Beware!

RED FALL/ BROWN FALL--IT'S HANGING ON TOO LONG

Rake mahogany and cherry colored leaves.

The only warmth will come from an eager parent who sends his kids out

Too soon to do yard work,

Or from an understanding parent who thinks of pool days not that long ago

And sounds of "Marco" answered by "Polo" and allows

Leaves to blow or rot until they move no more towards the edge of the house.

But most are forced out,

Some go willingly

To rake or drag soggied leaves to burn.

As cold sneaks down their shirt collars

And up their sleeves, shrunken by another year's growth.

Swirls around their ears, glowing red

And the smoke of incomplete burning, combustion lacking substance,

But full of air causing green smoke,

Thick with phlegm like Fourth of July fireworks snakes

As it tries to burn bright orange.

The huge sycamore

The hard to start elm

That got caught up in the crowd,

Mashed in the myriad of onslaught feet

Lies dormant on bottom.

The carnage of Fall

Not yet complete,

For this is only the first battle

Followed by leaf jumpings

And rake blisters bubbling

On thumb and palm

(Tear them off, that skin's gone)

Until no leaves dance

Until no leaves join in and swirl

Like miniature tumbleweeds

Until only those that lie are soaked.

Too bad you can't play Leaf Marco Polo.

JANET

Al, an alias, seemed to me to be a good kid with a good family. At least a very supportive mother and little sis who attended all his baseball games. He was good, not great.

At the next level, his coach played him at an unfamiliar position---left field. He didn't play it well at all. Two balls were hit to him back to back in a big playoff game. He booted the first while he whiffed on the second as the ball rolled all the way to the fence. In the most embarrassing substitution I've ever seen, the coach pulled him from the game right then and there, sending in a sub who couldn't have done much worse.

I have longed observed that you can't hide a weak link. The ball or the conflict will find you. I'm afraid BO may have done that with Janet.

Who's Janet? Well, that's the way she campaigned with signs simply saying "Vote Janet." Populist? Yes, but that's our former guv turned newly to be announced Head of Homeland Security.

Lots in AZ are ready to help her pack. One writer in today's paper calls it "Az's bail out plan". We elevate our state with a Republican to take her place.

Meanwhile Al, ...errr Janet moves on. We used to refer to that as the Peter Principle, but anyhow. Head of Homeland Security. Now, that's scary. Her answer to the border problem and illegal immigration can best be summed up by one quote of hers. "If you build a 50 foot high wall, then someone will just come along with a 51 foot tall ladder."

Where's that coach? Someone else needs to be pulled from the game.

I MAY BE TESTY

but I'm not a testing kind of guy. In fact, I think far too much testing goes on in schools.

Our two oldest grandkids just got back some kind of test results. They did outstanding on whatever instrument was used to measure how much they knew on that one day. Our third granchild is a kindergartener; hopefully, he won't be tested and tested. Until next year.

Lots of hand wringing over AIMS, Prairie State exams, ACTS, PSATS, LSATS, California Achievement Tests, ad infinitums. Benet used to be big, Stanine's, on and on.

The latest sorts of tests were designed not to measure student progress, but to show that teachers aren't being accountable. And what if teachers were accountable? What if teachers raised scores significantly? There would still be a way for those to avoid paying higher teacher salaries.

They have it their way right now. Of course, scores are down. But are students dumber? Some are. Some panic at fast food restaurants when the computer goes down and they have to count change in their heads. But that's because of technology rather than intelligence. I mean, if they were not allowed to use calculators, then they could do the math in their heads. It's just a discipline. But why should they? There's more important stuff to know, and they know it. Besides, the cheap calculator is readily available.

You don't fatten cattle by weighing them. Time and time again. You fatten by feeding. They're getting fed. Just get out of the way. And quit weighing so much.

And pay your teachers instead of your sports' programs. Last week an area MTV school had a ribbon cutting for a new $100,000 grade school gym hardwood floor. Are you kidding me? Three of our grade schools when I played 4-6 grade basketball had tile floors in their all purpose gyms.

Priorities, priorities. But hey, if it'll save a buck in the education fund, if it'll allow the school to hire an inexperienced or even unqualified teacher and in so doing save that money for an administrator's salary, then hey, go for it. Maybe that admin. can come up with just one more test for the students to take. To prove just what?