FROM UP HERE

Heloise used to give advice about cooking and sewing and women stuff in our local paper. I don't think I ever read a word. I mean it was for women. In those days you could do that. But I have some advice once in awhile about cooking and women stuff.

This sage advice should have been offered years ago, because I learned it back in my childhood. It just took a long time to sink in. Here, in the proverbial nutshell, it is. Most drinks are better aerated. Maybe not beer or some other liquors, but as far as coffee, milk, and even water, that is the case.

Decanting is the process of giving air to wine as I understand it,, though I don't know what a decanter looks like. Bubbles, apparently are vital to certain wines. Which ones, well I don't know. Ok, I'm not Heloise.

But as a kid, I knew that I liked milk when we ate out at restaurants. I like the foamy bubbles. So recently, I've started pouring milk, orange juice, coffee, and water from on high. I haven't splattered or splashed out any liquids, so that should tell you I'm not standing on a chair or ladder to do the pouring. Above my head, I hold the carton, pitcher, or bottle and let the gravity do the rest.

The result: aerated beverage. Try it and tell all you got the tip from me. I may just make a name for myself and get my own column in the newspaper. I even have a name: FROM UP HERE

KOTTER

Maybe Mt. Kotter was welcomed back, but somehow I don't think LeBron will be so honored in his return to Cleveland. The mean spirited side of me (well, I hope it doesn't take up one whole side) is looking forward to his reception.

Not that I have a fondness for Cleveland. In fact, despite all the traveling I've done, and the proximity of my hometown, I'm really surprised that the only time I've been to Ohio was to fly into Dayton years ago. Since I never stepped off the plane, I can't even add that state to the ones I've visited. I think I'm still 7 short. But I do feel for the fans there. I don't like the idea of how James left.

It just doesn't seem right that 3 players could get together and decide to play on the same team which already has one of the best NBA players. It reminds me too much of coaches at all levels that load up on talent. Especially in the kid leagues.

Free enterprise? Yeah, I'm all for that,, but if owners can be charged with collusion, maybe players should be, too. It's one thing to want to play on a winner. But to leave a winner to try to form a dynasty, well there's just something that's not right with that picture. The other day I got a hull of a piece of kettle corn, purchased at Fresh and Easy--the best I've ever had with apologies to bud John Kabat and the FFA at MTV High--stuck on the back, the very back of my tongue. It was there through other eating I did, through brushing and flossing (and a little gagging). Fortunately it left before bedtime or my tongue would have had a nocturnal work out. But that's kind of the way, kind of the feeling I have about the Miami Heat team, and especially LeBron. How they didn't get Amare from the Suns to add on still puzzles me.

So Cleveland, I challenge you to let it all hang out. That pent up frustration from Summer's Canadian soldier black flies that invade, to the Lake Erie winds, to the Cleveland Winter. Wind them all together in a ball of angst and let The Lyin' King have it.

At least you'll feel cathartic for awhile. Until tip off.

FIFTEEN REVEALS

Three different FaceBook friends and former students have asked me to list my favorite 15 novels that had an impression on me. Favorable, I assume or Richardson's Pamela and other 18th century English novels would fill up half that list. The other half would have been from existential writers I was also forced to read to get a Master's degree.

I was supposed to make my list in 15 minutes. I cheated. I felt since I had to go further back in time than any of them, I should be allowed more time for pensivity. At least that was my rationale.

So here's what I came up with. With only the briefest of explanations to follow. They are in no order for the most part.

A Tale of Two Cities
Catcher in the Rye
To Kill a Mockingbird
The Stand
Great Expectations
Angela's Ashes
The Mayor of Casterbridge
Oasis--a Brian Hodge novel. One character is half-based on me.
Animal Farm
Cold Mountain
Across Five Aprils
Friday Night Lights
Goldfinger
The Grapes of Wrath
The Good Earth

No intent was made to sound literary or well educated. These are the ones I liked. I hated to leave out Joseph Wambaugh's The Choirboys along with some Ray Bradbury, but 15 is 15 and not 17 or 18. I also purposely left off The Last Game and Niches and Crannies--two feeble attempts of mine to write novellas. Simply because despite the time I devoted to them, they really are not very good.

It was a good exercise, and like Beth, Laura, and Celeste, I would be interested in reading others' lists as well.

THEY JUST MIGHT HAVE BEEN STEELIES

It's just another one of those things tucked away. I just don't remember. But we didn't play marbles much when I was in black and white like the picture.

It seems maybe one Spring in my ninth year. But when I look back, it seems like a lot happened in my ninth year.

Something out of my long ago (I'll credit the Doobie Bros for that phrase) we started playing marbles, drawing the circle, and taking the marbles we could shoot out of the circle. I lost most of the time. And what I lost were solid steelies, I think.

I don't know where he got them, but my Dad had a ton of them. I thought they were ugly. The kaleidoscope marbles were the ones I liked. We also had some solid red ones that I lost, too. I don't remember any of the other kids having any of those. But, as I said, I wasn't very good at the game.

They should have marble tourneys for guys my age. I'm sure I'd be better now. But getting on my knees, getting on the ground would cause such a creaking sound and utterance like, "Oh, Boy," that it might be distracting. And then having to get up after one full game, if I could last that long in that position, well it might be ugly, too.

But I'm challenging anyone to a game. Replaced knees, artificial knees, or just ones like mine that don't seem to want to bend . Bring it!

THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME

The older I get, the more I love Christmas. One case in point is that I went shopping on Black Friday. With a little negotiating, I told my wife and our daughter that I'd go at 6 AM, but no earlier.

To many, that doesn't count. Not for those who started the night before waiting in line for the bargains. Many, including our oldest granddaughter would normally be finished by the time I was ready to commence.

I didn't hear enough Christmas songs in the stores for me. I don't want them too early. But as soon as Thanksgiving is over, my car radio station is tuned to 99.9 FM, a channel that plays nothing but Christmas songs till the holiday. My first song of the year was "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree", a great one. Three hours later, they repeated it to my satisfaction.

They all can't be seasonal without being religious, either. A steady dose of "O Holy Night," "What Child is This," and "Away in a Manger," are staples that I don't tire of during the season.

"Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time," "Walking in a Winter Wonderland," and a bevy of others "make the season bright" for me. Christmas plays and parties, well I can't get enough.

"Twas the Night Before Christmas," "A Christmas Carole," and of course "Charlie Brown's Christmas" are required viewing.

I could go on and on, but allow me to wish you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2011. Doesn't seem possible, does it?

DWTS

Well, now that the season is over, I guess I can write about Dancing With the Stars. Which I never watch. At least not this season. Which interested me a lot because of Kurt Warner.

I never watched the result show either. I just read about it. Far too much. And my complaints are few.

Numero Uno--why so much outright hatred for the Palin girl? I think she's still a teen, but I really don't know. I don't think I'd be able to recognize her if I saw a picture not denoting her identity. I'm not a big Sarah Palin fan; in fact, I think she's so divisive that I hope she doesn't run for Prez. But gimme a break. People are freaking out about her daughter because it's her daughter. Would they have a conniption, as my my mother used to say, if the Gore kids, the Obama daughters, Chelsea Clinton, or certainly anybody named Kennedy were treated that way? Let's be fair minded. C'mon.

Numero dos--why are the partners professionals? That's not completely fair. A pro can make the other look pretty doggone good if they're worth their salt. Why not pair the Disney guy with the Gray gal. Sarah's daughter with Kurt. You see that leads me to the third reason I don't watch the show.

I'm a pretty bad dancer. I thought one time about 15 years ago that I would be pretty good at line dancing. So, I know friends and loyal reader(s) are now laughing, picturing me line dancing. You see, it was at an office Christmas party and the teachers were there to help us. They were friends of mine, so there was no threat. They started us out slowly and I was getting it. Until something called an electric glide came along. I was done.

Finally, the judges, at least the English guy is/was, I don't know if he still judges, but he was pretty mean to some of the contestants. I know he must have been pretty good on the dance floor himself (I bet he could electric glide with the best of them) but why be critical of those who can't? Unless they're a William Hung, or clueless like the AI contestants that are dolts. But the ones I've seen them slam weren't in that category.

Oh, well, I guess it's a good thing I didn't watch. We have an Arthur Murray studio out here, and I might just have decided to lay out some hard earned cash to learn that electric glide. And if I did, when would I use it?