NOT A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

A-Rod, Tejada and Manny Ramirez

All the ballplayers with tattoos and moustaches,

Where are the ballplayers' love for the game?

These aren't a few of my favorite things.

When rich teams spend

When the rules bend

When I'm feeling sad

I turn on the tube to watch my team play

And then I still feel so bad.

Steroids rage on and Selig ignores

It makes me wonder what I watch them for

Interleague play and the stupid DH

C'mon, please baseball

Give me a break

Clemons, Giambi, and Jose Canseco

Now there's a threesome if I do say so

Try ruining baseball

It can be done

No national pastime, no national fun

When rich teams spend

When the rules bend

When I'm feeling sad

I turn on the tube to watch my team play

And then I still feel so bad.

SO SORRY

I missed the celebration. You know the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin yesterday. We used to get a day off from school for his birthday. Oh, no, I'm confused. It was Abe Lincoln who was born on the same date and year. All I know is that it was usually bad weather in Illinois when we took off that day. But it was welcomed. Because it gave me a day I didn't have to hear about evolution.

You see, all that theory conflicted with what I had heard in Sunday School and church. The older I got, the more I heard about how Darwin was right and if I or anyone believed otherwise, well they were mental midgets.

But I continued in church, continued to look around, continued to disbelieve Darwin. He had some doubts, too, you know. According to Prof. Del Tackett, the formation and study of the eye made Darwin cold. He shuddered at a peacock's feather. But rather than think God the creator, Darwin elected to believe in happenstance. Yep, everything just randomly happened. No design, no higher power. Just kismet.

So I missed the celebration. I wasn't able to participate in evolving beyond belief. For as The Monkees sang, "I'm a Believer".

IF YOU'RE MY SON OR BROTHER, DON'T READ THIS

You see, they both worry when I leave the country. When I do stuff I shouldn't. Like ride on the back of a motorcycle with some Dominican named Pablo. We were tracking down an Albert Pujols Dominican Republic cap.

After we got there, in some place not many tourists have ever been, the Dominican Pablo knew tried to sell me a Phillies hat because it had a P for Pujols on it. I knew better. I guess I should mention that I had no identification on me other than our pass to get back on the cruise ship. Also, only about $15. But it was fun and I purchased a Dominican cap that I wore on our return ride to the park where I encountered him at vendor's booth.

They also might not like my scary boat ride with a wild Frenchman in St. Lucia. Fortunately two other French Canadian teachers were on board. When the waves formed a wall way over our heads to our port side, our guide started talking loudly to someone on the other end of his cell. I thought he sounded panicky, but Guy and Stephanie were calm so I wasn't worried. Until I noticed there were no lifejackets or lifesaver floats of any kind.

But we were fine; it was a great ride. We went under a cave-like rock as pictured. Ours was thicker and deeper, but it made for a good picture on both sides. The whole ride was fun in the little boat in the deep sea. The waters were so choppy, though, we had to take a van back to our ship rather than traverse the waves again.

So, Scott and Jack, if you did read this entry, I promise to be more cautious on my next journey. (I had to pause in my typing to uncross my fingers).

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO WONDERS

Why the big deal over Sports Illustrated swimsuit addition? Some get so excited about it. Others get so angry. The models I've seen in it, don't look all that great to me this year.

Why did Mr. Obama look like the deer in the headlights during his first news conference? Why was he hemming and hawing and having trouble completing sentences on his first two answers? I'm not going to even ask why the media didn't discuss or poke fun at him for this. I'm equally certain SNL won't be mocking him in any of their skits. But he looked bad.

Will Specter, Collins, and Snow go down in history with other redcoats? I'd think. Spending our way out of this economic mess? Yeah, that's worked before. Just like Socialism. That's thrived all over Europe. Right! We need an "American Pie" rendition for "The Day Capitalism Died," because we are on the verge of USSA--the United Socialist States of America.

There I go again. Trying to figure out a world gone mad. Excuse me while I try to locate my blinders.

WHY DOES CUBISM AND OLD AGE GO TOGETHER?

At least that's what I thought when I saw this digital art. I mean all the elements are there.

For one, the wrinkles. Remember when you were a kid and slept soundly? When you woke up, you had these creases on your face from where the pillow left its marks? Well, when you get older, most of us don't sleep that well, at least that uninterrupted to make them anymore. What's worse is that we wear those crease marks on our face all the time.

Secondly, our eyelids sag, among other things. If you look closely, we have a bit of a lizard look since not only do they sag, but also they wrinkle on top of wrinkle. You most likely don't notice them so much because of our crows' feet around our little eyes, which seem to shrink with age.

As far as our ears and nose, well they may have flattened out some or even grown pointy. Some times basal cells have to be removed on those areas. When you've been scalpeled there, indentations result. Sharpness is the cubist's bread and butter.

Our mouths also pucker up or start to disappear. Again, a boon to the cubist. So we offer lines and sharpness as we age.

I wish I had better news for you youngins. I know. You're not going to get old. You're not going to look like that if you do. As Gene Pitney sang back in the day of pillow case creases,"Keep telling yourself/And if it gets you through another day/Well, hey; that's ok, keep telling yourself".

DON'T BAIL ME OUT



Don't desire. Just admire. Certainly don't acquire.



That was the Sunday sermon advice of our lead pastor. He's right, too.



Yet in our country, that has all changed. People who had no business started buying huge houses, expensive cars/SUVs and going deep into debt. But they were happy.

Right. All you heard was how unhappy they were. The media fed this monster, actually the monster the media created. "Where's mine?" was born.

"Where's mine?" It's right there. It's more than you ever dreamed about, than you could ever have hoped to own, but it wasn't enough. It never is. Not if one's focus is on the material.

And it swept the country. Greed. That's what got us into the pickle we're in right now. What's going to get us out? I don't know. But neither does anyone else.

Certainly anyone hyping a bailout doesn't know. It feeds the same animal. Spend our way out.

Maybe if we just printed more money. Yeah, right. That worked in Zimbabwe, where
$500,000 in their money is worth 2 cents. Literally.

Oh, well. This is one of those entries where I have no answers. Only non-answers. All I know is that a huge cloud outside my window looks like a turkey right now. But soon, it will morph into something else. Just like, well, I guess it doesn't matter anymore. The turkey became a clown with a huge smile. So everything will be fine.

There's an Open House down the street. I think I'll go. I could always use another house. One that's close. You know, for when friends visit.

DON'T LOOK FOR HIM TODAY

when the U of I takes on Purdue in Champaign. He's been fired. But I miss the Chief.

I've blogged before about the ridiculous PC ouster of the Chief. I'll only offer Wahoo, the Cleveland Indians mascot/logo portrayed on the front of their caps. If there was ever denigrating of the Native America, Wahoo takes the proverbial cake.

But I must also offer our Washington D.C. team, The Redskins. Can you imagine that our nation's capital still has that team name?

Yet the most revered, the most respected symbol of Native Americans in sports, Chief Illiniwek is forced out. He cannot perform his routine that not only inspired, but also reflected the heritage in a very positive light. He, or the Native American logo, can no longer appear on clothing apparel, I believe. Yet they are still called the Fighting Illini.

It's just another thing I've outgrown or lived too long to see. It's not conflicting to me: it's confounding. I'm not going to even call them the Illini anymore. I'm afraid it might offend. We'll just eradicate them completely from the university. Why not? We might be politically incorrect.

Go Orange and Blue!